inside jamari fox

in that pic,
he looks like how i feel.
pfft.

once upon a time,
i was an idiot who wanted to see the good in people after they said “sorry”.
those were fun times of learning that:

anyone can say they’re sorry when they’re sorry about their current circumstances.

it doesn’t mean they’re genuinely sorry.
we have programmed by our parentals that one word asking for forgiveness holds weight.
we were told to take an apology only to learn it meant shit in the long run,
especially when it came from siblings.

there are legit murderer that said they were sorry during sentencing,
all in hopes of getting off or a lighter sentence.

how many times has our toxic exes said they were “sorry”?
friends who hurt us and see we are doing better coming back with apologies?
“the one that let you get away” suddenly realizes you were the right one for them?

so when i saw kanye put out a full page spread in the “wall street journal“,
apologizing to the jewish and black communities for his past harmful behavior…

…emotionally tho,
it’s been a big yikes.
as much fun as sexy wolves are:

my mentals have been all over the place.

if “faking it til you make it” was a competition,
i’d win a platinum medal.
that has been faking a smile when i’d rather say fuck everyone.
i’ve literally been the entire “after laughter” album from paramore.

when you are staying at someone else’s crib tho,
you gotta fake it as much as possibly you can.
you don’t want to give them the impression you are ungrateful.
i have been enjoying making sure dishes are washed,
trash is taken out,
products i use gets replaced,
and everything is order before they get home.
that is one of the many things i learned from Mum and even Star Fox…

i don’t know what i was doing when he caught my attention.
i think i was being shown around when i saw him downstairs.
it was his facial first but then it was his sleeve once i started seeing him more often.

it was the biceps that the sleeves are attached that sealed the deal for me.

he is fine AF and drives a really nice car too.
lately,
i seem to run into him on accident.
tbh,
he isn’t even the finest one i’ve peeped here.
there is another one who i’ve caught his attention as well.

tall
dark
handsome
lean bawdy

i saw him one day in workout pants and nearly lost it.
yesterday,
i saw that he can’t even contain his ass in his jeans and he wasn’t even sagging.
you know the type of backside i’m fontin’ about.
he ain’t the finest one either.
then there was the one with the white vixen getting out a mercedes coupe…
listen,
i been put in the best position right now.

the new meat on the block.

that means i get to be anyone i want other than who i use to be.
i made a decision to myself last night that as horny as i am…

God,
what a way to shred your iconic character.
this entire press tour for that movie is when i said:

serena,
have you gone mad?
this movie is about DV and you’re grifting hair products.
not only that,
she had drinks including one named after the DV character.
that location share shit was what sealed the deal for me too.
it sounded so unserious.

so if some shit was to go down about my last living situation,
and i had to give up my phone,
the police would see:

that shit was a hot topic in my text messages with various people.

not only that,
i had documents saved and conversations recorded.
last night,
i went down the deep dive of blake lively/justin baldoni drama.
won’t even hold you but i read a majority of the texts,
watched videos of people covering the case,
and everything is a big yikes but i do have a question…

he looks ultra dusty.
yuck.
ain’t no amount of horny in the forests…

ya’ll have sent me some disturbing shit in my Foxhole,
but this one took the whole cake for me.
i always wonder what goes on in people’s homes.
they may look great on the outside,
but sometimes,
we are surrounded by real monsters.

this includes males we meet off sites for sex to host in their homes.

we don’t know who they dun’ killed up in their homes,
or if they gonna kill us in their homes.
^that one dust bunny hyena up there to wanted to fuck so bad off grindr…

why don’t they just start the civil war they’ve been hinting?
this is what they want and they are inching slowly towards it.

…cause this is getting ridiculous but i’m not surprised anymore.
maybe,
i’m desensitized to all this bullshit going on nowadays?
i hate to be that person butttttttttttttttttt…

everyone seems okay complaining about all that’s happening,
and 50 others come through with excuses trying to overwrite facts,
so whats even the point of stressing out anymore?

i don’t know about you but i knew the ICE hunters would not stop at renee good.
in my opinion:

she was the test/the experiment.

the test/experiment was if that ICE hyena got away with killing her,
that means they would be allowed to kill anyone else.
so just like i thought,
nothing happened and the forests were angrily moving on to the next trauma bond,
but then this happened this morning in minnesota.
another ICE hyena and another US citizen…