Out of Line

color_outsidei always knew some people did it,
but i never saw it happen up close.
i’ve had friends who sat next to celebrities doing it as well.
no shame in the world.
some even offered.
sometimes people need to do it to start the night.
others do it to start the day.
ive personally never tried it.
but “never say never”.
i always wonder how hard it was to keep the habit an stay in line?
by line,
i mean focus on not getting it out on control for something harder

so yesterday was a busy day for me.
i had to attend a boring meeting with some out of state clients.
before we went into the meetings,
one of the clients came up to my desk and asked where the bathroom was.
when he got back,
he was acting all jittery.
like a blast of fresh life.
he was asking me a ton of questions as i was trying to finish up a document.
when i looked up,
to give him the “why are you talking to me?” face,
one of his nostrils was covered in white.
you know the kind of white i’m talking about:Cocaine+D_0b0dfe_3308938i mean how could he not have noticed when he was coming out the bathroom?
did he even look?
either way,
in my best non disrespect attitude,
i told he had something in his nose.
i really wanted to say:


…but that would have been kinda rude.
he gasped,
wiped his nose,
and did a thumbs up before walking away.
he avoided my eyes all day after that.
i’m always shocked when i found out someone is a functioning coke head.
low key.
hell drugs in general.
my weed habit couple years ago was tame compared to others.
these days,
people are on all kinds of shit these days just to get them through.
its not even just white substances.
a functioning habit could be formed with anything.
pill poppin’
body buildin’
attention seekin’
social media whorin’
look for lovin’
some people are even highly addicted to sexin’.
waiting all day to do some perverted shit at night.
that hardcore shit.
it starts off fuckin’ a few strangers.
next thing you know,
you on “gang bang avenue” or “glory hole blvd”.
hell we watched “shame” that one time.
shamedo i blame anyone who gets addicted to something?
probably not.
sometimes it just happens and you don’t realize it.
as long as you are in control of your addictions don’t start to control you life.
well not yet anyway.
as carrie bradshaw said,
which mirrors my current addcition:

“i like my addictions where i can see them.
in my closet.”


6 thoughts on “Out of Line

  1. Addictions can be deadly and they can cost big: Cost you your job, your home, your friends, your family, your relationships, your money and more. There are three ways to learn: 1. by instruction, 2. by trial and error and 3. by example. The most expensive way to learn is by trial and error. There are plenty of instruction going on about the dangers of drugs–alcohol, crack, cocaine, crystal meth,etc–but people insist on trying that shit every day. There are plenty of examples about the dangers of that shit but people insist on it every day. Just like there is plenty of instruction and examples of the dangers of unprotected (safe, safer) sex but people insist on trying that shit every day–just look at the numbers coming down with HIV infection.

    Do people think that they can do what instruction and example tells them will likely be problematic? Yes. And is suspect that they do so because they believe that they are “special” and that the bad could “never” happen to them. Well, I’m not that special so I stay the fuck away from all that shit!

  2. Well I don’t have an addiction, and I hope I never do. Some habits are hard to break.

  3. I am an addicted! I’m not ashamed to admit it because of the things that been going on in my life, I need something to calm myself down with otherwise I start feeling unease and angry and I just want to hurt somebody, a particular person who got me hooked and trap. The shit that I take really help me stay cool, calm, and collected and let me forget about the outside world believe it or not, but only for a moment tho. Do I like it? No, not really. I hate the fact that I have to bother my mom to give me money, but I also hate the fact that my mom is my enabler too because I told her many time to say NO to me, but she doesn’t. The worst part is when it start to wear off and I feel so disgusting and ugly, fuck you chocolate for being so delicious and addicting.

      1. Chocolate is so addicting. I would get those chocolate bars from my drug dealer and melt that shit up then inject it into my mouth and baby I am in paradise. One night I got very high and I woke up with this fat Mexican guy on top of me, oooh that shit was scary.

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