sadness just doesn’t go away.
it can be on hold,
but it still lingers in the background.
i can go to the maldives tomorrow,
stay in one of those huts on top the blue water,
and get banged doggy style every night in the ocean…
…if i’m lost with my life,
that feeling will never go away.
once the high wears off,
you’re back to square one when you’re back.
which is why everyone chases highs.
it takes you away for a little while,
but once you come back down,
you gotta deal with what’s in front of you.
“you have this blog,
that has all these views,
and you’re working…
“well you have all these views,
but you don’t have the influencer count to be sponsored/live off your blog.
that has been the outcome when i try pitching my blog.
that is where my sadness lies.
looking at a resume and having to go sit at another job,
another “let me try to impress people with interviews i don’t care about”,
and another “i’ll give this 6 months until…”.
those last jobs have left me burned out and turned off.
that is the part that sucks.
not to mention,
unemployment is on it’s 3rd month,
and i need to be doing something soon.
that sadness won’t go away until i’m doing what i love.
leaving new yawk,
moving to asia,
living off the coast of mexico,
surviving in the mountains of thailand…
if you feel lost and UN-fulfilled,
you are basically taking a shower and putting back on dirty underwear.
i don’t have a issue with new yawk.
i have an issue feeling like i have to hop on yet another corporate slave ship.
after getting thrown overboard by two of them…
…and being “good enough but not good enough” with the foxhole,
it makes me feel worthless.
Does that make sense to anyone?
lowkey: when that ceo wolf said he saw my dreams,
would help me get to the next level,
and abandoned me like everyone else did,
that was a major blow foxhole.