have you ever looked at your life,
and pinpointed the exact moment things hit the wall?
it could have been that life changing accident,
or when you had to climb from the bottom up,
but it was the moment you realized:
“wow.
this is my life and it sucks.
time to change the outcome.”
that is when we want to change.
the urge to fight for something better.
when you look back at your story,
that is where the “shift” started.
well i think i did that today…
it started when i was taking my stuff out of boxes.
i was in my new cubicle at this new spot.
all the snow bunnies were happily skipping around.
they were excited about the new area and all the possibilities.
i looked at them and didn’t feel the same energy within myself.
i actually felt like i was in a cage.
in this cage was my desk and the shackles was microsoft outlook.
to these snow bunnies,
this was their passion.
to work at this company and use it as a business card.
some of them were born into nepotism.
others were living with 6 roommates in a 2 bedroom in order to survive.
they still bounce around,
cry when they get yelled at,
but somehow make it to the next level.
snow bunnies and wolves have it so easy.
my caramel ass is past my expiration date.
my boss gonna tell us this morning in a quick meeting,
that since liar liar is leaving,
we can’t take any vacations/sick days until sepetember.
this is when they plan on hiring someone to fill her position.
not only that,
i have to carry her load as well as mine.
“jamari.
you are such a great worker!
we need you to be a team player!”
at that moment,
i felt the urge to get my shit and walk out the door.
all my fantasies of getting fired rushed to my head and caused brain freeze.
the problem is that i did such a good job,
and have such a stellar reputation,
that everyone is now looking to me to be the back up rescue ranger.
“chip” nor “dale” is my name.
i didn’t get a lunch or break today.
liar liar didn’t come in and i had so much shit to do.
i was lucky to grab a slice of pizza they catered,
but this is a preview of what’s to come.
not only was i unpacking shit,
but i had to answer emails and run behind my boss with his issues.
they had to tell me to “smile”.
i was definitely not a snow bunny today.
these days,
i come home feeling tired as fuck.
i can literally sleep all night and the whole weekend.
my passion is being fucked with.
the foxhole is my passion.
it’s like this job is trying to replace that.
Why can’t the animals in my career speak as highly as they do at this job?
well i’m not in my career so…
i don’t want to feel like a slave any longer at this 9-5.
there needs to be an escape plan in order.
i was left asking myself…
What do i need to sacrifice in order to “make it”?
…but with rent/bills that needs to be paid,
and mi being so sketchy with her portion,
will my “sacrifice” leave me on the streets?
this is when i start feeling doomed.
low-key: i don’t want to leave this job on some ratchet shit,
as i have built such a professional reputation,
but i do want to go.
i just need to figure out the plan after i go.
Jamari,
You are within your rights to ask them if you will be compensated for the extra duties. Liar Liar was in a supervisory/managerial position, you were not. I take it that her duties were vastly different from yours?
Ask them for your job description and then ask them to compare your to hers. I’ve never heard anything like that where the employees couldn’t take time/days off because the supervisor has to be replaced. It is the responsibility of the managers/supervisors to pick up her slack, not the employees that were under her. Typical business pattern, managers/supervisors pass the work to the non-exempt employees, while they skate by doing nothing.
It is okay to speak up, man. That is what a lot of businesses don’t expect employees to do. As long as you’re not disrespectful/insubordinate…you can speak up. Hearing stuff like this bothers me because what they’re doing is taking advantage of you guys, because they know that you all won’t say anything. Familiarize yourself with your company’s policies and procedures. They can’t go against what’s in writing..that’s like opening a can of worms for them.
You’re always more attractive to potential employers when you have a job. I know you’re going to be even more busy but let your contacts know you are ready to bounce.
Also, are these people going to pay you a differential while you are filling in for liar, liar? That usually happens when one is the ‘acting’ due to the assumption of the significant duties of a higher position. Another thing: since you are assuming her role, you might consider delegating assignments to others as she did. Just a thought.
It’s more important now than ever to make sure you eat breakfast before leaving home. You don’t want to get sick. And, do some push-ups in your bedroom. It’s a great stress reliever. Stress kills and sets us up for all sorts of bad things.
I know that feeling, its the worst because you just feel a hopeless cloud looming over you. I’m looking for a second job so I can make my plans a reality. I say if you really want to make your passion work for you you’re going to have to forfeit some hours of sleep and peace and grind hard.
Work at this job while remembering its just that and not your career, find blogging events network keep searching for those sponsers. This blog is already your second job its just time to do some overtime to get it working for you.
You will be fine Jamari. The only problem is, the inability for you to get interviews scheduled because you have no off days for the next few months.
Here’s some advice..they make a public statement to set the bar. Go to him one on one and request some time off but already have a contigency plan and share who will do what when you are out. Start with a Friday the monday…you deserve a long weekend. They will survive