i was due for a day to relax.
i have been doing too much.
mentally.
physically.
emotionally.
workwolf-ally.
i felt burnt out and completely over everything.
so what i did?
stayed in bed 95% of the time.
that included:
catching up on the 5th season of “pretty little liars”
sleeping off and on
breaking my “no jack off” fast for the day
deep conditioning my hair
it was a really lazy “me” day.
in between all these things,
i thought about my situation with work wolf.
i came to a decision i think would be best…
stay friends as normal,
even go into “best” straight wolf territory,
but if he ever decided to pursue me for anything other than:
i will politely turn him down.
now before you judge,
and i know you will,
keep reading.
he texted me yesterday to check up on me.
we ended up texting for a pretty long time.
he seems to like it when we talk about “us”,
meaning the present and future dreams of our friendship/lives,
rather than me being nosy and asking him about his love/sex life.
yes.
i am a fox and we’re nosy.
#dealwithit
so even though i wanted to pry,
i decided to ignore my inner nosiness and move on.
see yawl.
i’m growing.
maybe its my self defense mechanism,
but i just want it to stay how it is.
i think i took “being bold” a little too far.
i thought if i asked the right questions,
and questioned him about things,
it would help my case.
it actually makes me look like “the nagging girlfriend”.
you know the ones who get a special “DO NOT ANSWER” in a phone.
maybe simply these 2 emojis:
yeah.
even tho from his actions,
he secretly likes it when i do that.
i’m also going to try not jumping to conclusions.
i can be honest and say i could taken ( x friday’s incident ) wrong.
when he is in a bad mood,
he tends to be real negative.
i will ignore his ass until he cools down.
he is big on “playing your position” as he once told me.
he has a lot of growing to do.
i have a lot of growing to do.
this is all “new” to me.
i’ve never dealt with this kind of straight wolf before.
i will make mistakes especially when i have some kind of feelings.
i won’t apologize for being a dumb ass.
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wait…
lowkey: i do have a question for the foxhole:
how does one ignore to ask about the vixens and hoes in his life?
even when your “inner fox” wants to sniff out an answer?
i think that would help a lot if i can achieve that.
I say just wait for him to bring up his sex life, I agree with some of the posts above as friends you should be able to talk about anything. Instead of you bring it up just wait and let him do it. If he does he does, if he doesn’t he doesn’t . That way instead of seeming like the nagging girlfriend he brings it up so he deals with whatever answer comes his way.
I think it’s funny how fast we all want to rush you two into some form of sexual-ness before we can call this a win for Jamari. But if you examine the dynamics of it all this is actually an old fashioned romance a courtship of the past. Feelings take time to develop on both ends, ups and downs, annoyances and desires overwhelm. One day your sure, the next day your not sure. Its all romance. You already have him, it’s just how the both of you will come to realize it which is interesting.
let him play his (typo)
I wouldn’t think so much as to how your looking or what will the end of the story be just play your part and let me play his, live in the now and enjoy it for what it is not what it will develop into.
^see this is the feedback i really appreciate.
thank you paul.
this is “the shoulder” rather than “finger pointing and being judgmental”.
Jamari does work wolf claim these females as his girlfriends or just girls he messes with, and with all his messing around does he have any kids?
^no cubs.
he claims none of them.
he gets bored with them and moves on constantly.
hell he does more for me than them lol
I often wonder why do they even mess with him the way he treats them.
His dick game must be on point and or the females could have low self esteem. He gets bored with them cause he really doesn’t want them he wants you Jamari, but he is scared. Hanging out this week with him will probably answer a lot of questions between you two.
^we’ll see.
im not gonna build anything up anymore.
whatever happens…
you know the rest.
Well just be open to the fact that maybe the universe put you two together no so much to affect your life but to maybe affect his. So maybe you are suppose to ask him about his actions to make him think about what he is doing with his life.
^deep!!!!!
he has said this to me too.
you are onto something Paul.
“God uses people. Everyone is a child of God. Everyone that comes into your life God puts them there to teach you lessons, because God is knowledge and understanding. The lessons are to teach you about yourself. God wants us to know who we really are.” Iyanla Vanzant
“My sexuality is something that I didn’t choose. I don’t control the signals it sends me. What I can control is acting on those signals. Sometimes being alive and the person God wanted me to be means acting on those signals.” E. Lynn Harris
^love those quotes.
so I guess just don’t change anything?
keep on doing what I do and go with the flow?
it just seems im making silly mistakes and looking foolish…
I’m a about people doing what they feel is necessary to protect their feelings but if I may, I don’t really feel like you should change up your conversation that much. Part of growing is accepting things for what they are and handling them in a mature matter. It would be damn near impossible to keep the conversation PG, so rather than get jealous when he talks about vixens, listen, give feedback when necessary, and move on. Don’t let your feelings about him dictate how you handle him because a change in dynamic could mean a change in friendship. I’m not saying all you guys need to talk about is sex, but the point in being good friends with a person is to be able to talk to that person about any and everything. As hard as it may be, I know you can do it. It’s all apart of the growing process.
^you know what jay?
you are right.
i start to shut down when I feel like im going to look stupid.
you are right about “a change in dynamic can mean a change in friendship”.
im just confused and was looking for a way to suppress everything.
I can be honest about that.
this whole work wolf saga has been the biggest test of my life thus far.
it won’t be done like how everyone would do it,
but it’s teaching me something that i haven’t learned yet.
Ok, *short-story*
When I graduated a college, a thug-like Fox started hittin me up on FB about having seen me around campus and I recognized him but we never ever spoke… We would talk and text all day long about his sexcapades and about business (his porn dreams and my entertainment goals) … He would even call/txt me right after sex. HE would be quite descriptive as if is Gould have been there.
I’ve run into many “straight wolves” that are intrigued by me but would rather #follow than #add (like facebook requests options) lol…. Either way, I typed all this to say… I felt #USED… These selfish ass wolves can take all my knowledge, my time and be in my space to confuse the hell out of me… But spend the other leisure time giving #itup to someone else… It doesn’t matter whether it male or female (my mind)… What matters is.. It’s not me. The time it could be for me. I’m occupied playing the confused-a$$-friend!
^wow.
did you change your ways,
or do still suffer with being put in this box?
i would hate to be called after sex.
smh.
I changed… I know my worth… And it’s not being in a friendship that confuses me…. I just ended my friendship with my bestfriend (6yrs since college)… Who is discreet but I felt he treated me just as other “straight wolves”… Even when we would argue it felt as if we were together…
In my mind… Ppl go after what they truly want… Since I am not worth the trouble or the desire… I must have not been exactly what they want either… Which makes me believe that they are confused… This type of wolf tends to always find me… I’m over it… I rather be alone… Than giving my “MIND,_____&SOUL” to another Brotha that gushes about there sexcapades and attempts to encourage me to go find a wolf when they end up taking up all the time I could use to locate a wolf.LOL
^very deep Jo.
i feel you on every word.
it’s funny how we all have the same experiences with different outcomes in this life.
Jamari it seems like when your away from you try to forget about him sexually and try to put him in the friend zone, but when you see him it’s another story. You just have to do what you feel and sorry but I think your curiosity is not going to let you not ask about his females.
^you are right.
i just want to focus more on what we got going on than the hoes.
You have to do what you feel is right, but I think that comment “I will politely turn him down” is easier said than done. If he was to persuade you I know you will take it because come on J, you and I know that emotions can’t be burn off, but rather shove in the closet which will later explode when something triggers it to open.
^you are definitely right Lin.
Good for you Jamari! BTW when you get a chance, follow @giorgiio
^oh he is yummy.
i love that tat.
good find fb!