i had a rough month in june.
like its been bills “this”,
slight drama at work “that”,
boss going crazy “this”,
and other issues to make me throw up my hands “that”.
i have been extremely exhausted when i get off of work.
i even cried in the bathroom stall today because everything hit me at once.
i didn’t want to tell “this story”,
but i needed to vent for this story.
i’m sure it may help someone else…
well a wolf decided to randomly hit me up in emails like two weeks ago.
sent their body pictures on some:
“this is who i am and i want you.
keep it on the low tho because i am a someone that is a fan of your site.”
oh really?
well thanks…
the body was looking oh so right too.
no facials.
so while talking to this person,
kinda platonic/kinda sexual,
they also gave me the best convo of my life.
when you in drama,
the fact you could escape to a pleasant distraction is amazing.
i actually felt happy when they would hit me up.
i haven’t had a good convo with a wolf i was attracted to in a while.
“i’m off my workout,
but i was thinking about you…”
so when they asked to meet me in person,
i was a tad hesitant.
i kept thinking “catfish” or “the killer”.
even in my resistance,
i still wanted to take the plunge.
i even had them make a sign to prove it was them.
it was.
it wouldn’t hurt,
right?
this is someone who has sorta proven they play for some team.
they made it seem like they were practicing for the upcoming season.
they were also very secretive about who they were.
they made it seem like they were a big deal.
they wanted to meet,
but was scared i would out them or do something trifling to them.
“believe it or not,
you work for the media.
your blog is media…”
anyone who reads my site knows i am not that person.
hell i don’t even consider my site “media”.
either way i was completely terrified,
but i said to myself i can’t live a life where i am in fear.
plus from his words:
“i could change your life.
you mean after all this convo,
you still don’t trust me…”
so today i prayed to god.
i asked him i should meet this beautiful stranger.
i needed help.
i asked god to call on star fox,
my mother,
father…
i needed their guidance on this as well.
soon enough,
i saw a woman who looked JUST like my mama as i walked towards my job.
i know god was working.
well tonight,
the gig was up.
it was revealed that the person wasn’t who they said they were.
so after all this talk with getting into my good graces,
trying to make me trust them,
making me feel like i needed to be on point with my own shit…
you mean to tell me that it was all a lie?
like,
who does that to someone without any kind of feelings after?
someone who expressed his concerns countlessly about meeting a stranger.
why create this elaborate story of a life he doesn’t have?
what did i do to deserve that?
i made reservations at ( x a nice restaurant ) and everything.
i was thinking of his career when i did it.
we needed to meet in a public setting,
but at a nice spot that wouldn’t draw too much attention.
we weren’t meeting to fuck.
i had the impression we were meeting to talk,
get to know each other,
and see where it went for the future.
alas i’m hurt,
but i guess grateful.
there is always a learning lesson within every situation tho.
i’ll find the right one,
but this is the one that stands out the most:
“people are so fuckin’ ignorant.”
lowkey: …and even after its all said and done,
i still wouldn’t out him.
no point.
i hope the universe will bless me with the right wolf later on.
damn Jamari you would not believe it but YESTERDAY i had the same shi happen to me. I was not scared but this time after talking back and forth for 2 weeks i decided to go meet this person of interest and low and behold…it was like letting air out of a balloon. Just the complete opposite of the person i thought it was. I swore then NEVER AGAIN. If i meet you on the spot and we get along then letsfuck and see where ti goes otherwsie…I am over the MEET and GREET sop opera
How you know he lied?
I wouldn’t say any of it is your fault.
I wouldn’t tell you to stop having personal conversations with your readers either.
God knows you’ve already bared your soul on here and so have I as well as through email exchanges with you.
It’s just a sign of the times we live in now where we have to resort to finding friends, connections and like minded people online and I’m completely over it!
I want someone to strike up a random conversation at somewhere like the gym where I spend most of my free time and go from. No more of this email/sex site shit unless I’m just trying to smash. Waste of time and energy.
If you’re ever in Texas we’re going to the gym to lift heavy shit and cake watch lol
Oh Jamari I am so sorry. Just remember that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. Keep your head up! You’re amazing, talented, nurturing, and this is only what I’ve taken from your posts. Rise above these ashes and soar like the Phoenix you are!
DAMN. There is a lot going on here bro. I can’t believe this happened. WTF? Well if this dude is reading, he is a sorry excuse for man, and his actions do not represent all of us Wolves. I’m upset that this happened. Now I got to give some tough love on this one because this could have been avoided. This grew way out of control and it didn’t have to. Jamari, you are a blogger, you created this platform to share your opinions and views, and to have discussions with others who share the same opinions. You should not be having any personal relations with your readers, which means no sexual or intimate conversations, period. Nah. You were certain to confirm that his physical appearance was valid, but you did not make sure that his career checked out. That was more important than what he looked like. I’ll take an average dude any day over a good looking one who is deceitful. My guess is that he was a man with a nice build who claimed to be gearing up for the NFL season. He was aware of your love for athletes and he used that to target you. I am confused as to why his ass lied in the first place. My guess is that he is some bum who does not work and is used to getting by on his looks. I know the deal. I say this repeatedly time and time again, Foxes and women are similar in their dealings with men, regardless of masculinity. Y’all got to stop falling for these tricks.
^you’re right.
learning lesson.
i have to experience the pain in order to grow.
this helps.
That’s some fucked up shit right there, why lie? Damn keep your head up man don’t let this idiot keep you from finding the wolf of your dreams he’s out there and when you find him this incident will be far from your mind.
^thanks mikey.
I know you are upset that this guy tricked you.After watching “Catfish” be thankful that you were tricked for a couple of weeks rather than for months or years .I am always baffled by WHY people pull these stunts. Why they gain pleasure by intentionally hurting someone.Personally I pity this guy.He is a pathetic person.
Most people are good and kind.Please know people like this guy are the exception not the rule.
^yeah I’m grateful y,
but why am I so sad?
i don’t want to even meet anyone off this anymore after this.
Oh Jamari, I really sympathize for you regarding this situation. When stuff like this happens, people wonder why it’s so hard to open up towards others. Giving someone false hope is completely out of order. Shake it off Jamari, and have faith that your day will come soon.
^i think the worst part was the lack of sympathy.
like it was a game or something.
bad enough my trust issues are bad.
then gonna get on me for not trusting him.
How could I????
My advice would be, don’t let dudes pursue you who know you from your blog. Only get it in with dudes you pursue yourself. Whether that be from chat-sites or apps. If they contact you saying “I read your blog and I wanna dig in them guts” I’d say “no” because imagine if he found out who you were. He could out you.
One thing tho. How did he know if you were telling the truth. For all we know, you could be some government worker made up of many employees that play the character of Jamari the writer/blogger. I had a little inkling thought that this blog may just be a fake cover for the government to study gay Black men and that you don’t actually exist but I digress. I’m paranoid like that sometimes.
Real talk, it’s obvious you need a wolf in your life. You need that extra special someone to hold you when you feel like crying and to be there when you need someone to talk to about anything that comes to your mind.
^Everything you said is the absolute truth and why I was so hesitant…
Are you serious? I’m confused was the “real” person not who they say they were in the pics or was this wolf with a nice body and make believe career. Which one?
^It was a wolf with a nice body.
make believe career.
Jamari man. God is working on you. This was a learning experience. He showed you this in order to open your eyes to something else. A cautionary sign so to speak. Keep doing your thing and getting better and everything will fall into place including finding the perfect guy for you. (Tells self the same thing)
^mac.
i wont lie to you.
i feel hurt and defeated.
this month has been hell.
i go to wash dishes,
my cup breaks,
and cuts my hand.
bleeding everywhere when i need to be in bed.
i’m over everything…
Jamari. I can dig that feeling. When you’re thinking you have to be on Punkd cause certain ish just did not happen. However. No one ever said life was gonna be easy. My advice would be to take a day to enjoy the city and yourself. Put on something casual and easy breezy. Visit a museum. Go see a matinee. Go to a bar and treat yourself to a drink you never had. Or get a workout in. Small stuff. But all we can do is deal. Life isn’t easy. Especially not for black men.
^yeah that sounds like a plan this weekend.
bad enough in pretty much planless.
I’ll treat myself this weekend then.