well shit i’m trying not too!
so i nearly came home and jacked off a few rounds.
i was so horny today.
it has officially started.
it doesn’t help i’m listening to the “50 shades of grey” soundtrack either.
so as you know,
or didn’t,
i’ve refrained from ( x getting myself off ).
well it was all good up until now.
i wasn’t horny at all before today.
i thought i lost my sex drive on the way to work.
you know i was about to start weeping.
well today,
i was doing some more research and read up on interesting things…
(this entry is def 18^ and nsfw)

so i’ve always liked sex and pleasuring myself.
i was really intuitive sexually with my body at young age.
weird coming from such a really strict upbringing.
weird i’m not a raging whore.
i guess thats the beauty of fear?
i get turned on by the slightest things tho.
the words “beat it up” and “banging” do something to my libido.

when people talk about how good they were fucked/fucking,
i always want to hear the story.
i like to watch people having sex.
i like to be dominated.
i love to turn people on.
nothing makes me hotter than a wolf ive turned on.
i can see/feel sex in anything.
you can tell just from the foxhole alone.

so in doing this next experiment,
you know i could as well start growing horns.

today i read that while trying to manifest sexual energy,
you need to surround yourself with sex.

reading sexual content
listening to sex songs
watching porn with all your senses open

well i does that already so…
well i does that and jacked off immediately.
apparently most people with a “sexual aura” do this.
you need to be turned on,
but the challenge is to not jack off.
healthy sex is cool,
but try to limit how many times you jack off.

you ever notice when you are horny,
you can literally feel the energy bouncing off you?
its like you want to explode?
well thats it.
that’s the sexual energy.
you are intensifying it the longer you hold onto it.
people have used that same energy to become greater in life.

all day i’ve been teasing myself with this energy.
honestly the feeling is awesome.
i love feeling horny personally.
it makes me act differently.
it makes me look at people differently.
paying more attention to their body language.
everyone is a “someone” for my pleasure.
i even flirt with the vixens.
pushing the limits and seeing how far i can go.
sexual energy is pretty exciting.
i can imagine how good you fuck while its at an all time high?

…or fuckin’ someone you really wanted?
i actually texted someone that wanted to talk to me.
not interested in him at all,
but i wanted to play around.
we ended up text fuckin’ a majority of the afternoon.
i used him.
sue me.
it made me so hot tho.
so as you can see i’m enjoying this.
a.
lot.
lets see how far it will take me.
well without jackin’ off because lawd…