I had to wonder:
Have you ever wondered if being treated unfairly and underestimated might actually be a blessing in disguise?

there’s inspiration everywhere if we choose to open our eyes for it.
take nicole beharie,
my straight vixen crush.
remember her on “sleepy hollow“?
when she she was on there,
she was a beloved character but randomly,
she she got let go.
after that,
the rumor mill went wild.

Difficult to work with.
“Crazy”
I even heard she bit someone(?)

i never saw her defend herself and rightfully so.
when you know something isn’t true,
what’s there to say or font?

to john q. public,
it looked like behind-the-scenes racism.
her character was killed off and they replaced her with a white vixen.
the show ended up tanking shortly afterwards.
nicole went rogue after that which is one of my favorite things to do.
she did some indie projects but nothing major.
then,
like a plot twist in one of my favorite shows,
she was cast in season three of “the morning show”.
look at how God works…

when i was younger,
after losing her apartment,
my mother and i had to move into my sister’s aunt’s house with my step father.
Foxhole,
that house was an absolute nightmare.
it was like a horror movie set in slow motion.
her aunts had given up on life and…

a journal prompt popped up on my phone asking:

“I define independence as…”

my answer?…

Don’t you ever get tired of dealing with people’s shady bullshit?

this morning,
i found myself headed dangerously close on the edge of sanity,
ready to go nuclear over someone’s latest nonsense.
someone i already know to be a certain way but hoping for a different outcome.
my bad.
in life,
we are going to face all kinds of abusive assholes.
i’ve always liked an asshole up front where i can see them.
i hate the ones who throws stones and hides behind a mask of innocence.
thankfully,
a dear friend pulled me back from the brink with a simple yet profound truth…

there is light within the darkness if you really look for it.
it’s no secret i’ve expressed that these past few years have broken me.
i feel like i’ve had to be broken into a thoughts pieces to put myself back together.
this time,
i get to do it in my liking and not what others may accept of me.
this morning,
i had a thought about the people who’ve slipped away from my life.
those i was once close to,
or those i hoped to reconnect with,
but it never happened.
a random thought downloaded into my spirit this morning.
i felt the urge to text a good friend what i felt and i wanted to share it here…

when i was younger,
i was wild sensitive.
like,
deep in the jungles kind of wild.
you couldn’t make a joke in my expense without me spiraling.
i tried to control how people saw me.
if someone dared come for me,
or if i fell on my ass in public…