FOXMAIL

Dear Mr. Fox,
Its been a while since ive visited your website. Last year I used to wait religiously for every post, but ive recently stayed away due to the pornographic nature of some of your posts. Your persobality is why i loved the site.

My question is, can a broken man ever be fixed? Ive seen on numerous occasions about how men can be turned gay but theres never been an instance of a man becoming straight thats been celebrated. Since i was a child i thought i was doomed and that gay was a disease you caught.

My mother hates me. After she found out i had a chance of being gay, she no longer cared about me. I didnt realize this until i realized how depressed i was. Because she was my mother i never knew one could look upon their child with the same look of disgust as a crippled, dying dog. Instead Reflecting back on incidents after i got curious with google when it was still new she found gay porn on our computer. When that happened the christmas and birthday presents stopped. Her dismissals became more frequent and harsh. She even sent me to stay with abusive relatives that drove my emotions deeper inside me. At the age of 10, i got my fitst girlfriend. When her brother found out about me being black he gathered up his friends and started bullying me. Over time it got worse, the abuse was no longer verbal, but sexual. I was molested by a group of boys down our street… even now i get a cold, soulless feeling every time i think back to my childhood. over the years and she never let me seek help. What happened caused me to zone out, almost like what happens in get out. Listening to how black people talk about gay people further pushed me to the point of accepting my fate. As a young child, i felt like i was doomed and had no one to talk to. After stepping up to my abusers i began to come home with bruises along with damaged pride. They told me if i didnt give them what they wanted they were going beat me until i liked it, so they did. When i repeatedly told her i didn’t eant to play with the neighbors she belittled me fot not having any male friends. Eventually i learned to tolerate the abuse the only way i knew how. A couple of months of neglect went by until my mother finally asked me why i was coming home in tattered clothes every day. I was too ashamed to tell her about the abuse, but i told her about how they beat me. The police got involved but they did nothing, since one of the boys were related to a fellow officer. Being one of few black families in a country town didnt help either. Fast forward, i am now a sexually confused , anxiety riddled loner who cant seem to trust people. My mother had long stopped paying attention to me. She even began sleeping with my father who also wanted nothing tk do with me AFTER she told him i was gay. I dont care what anyone says, sexuality doesnt exist in children… it just doesnt. Telling or treating a child like they are something and they will eventually conform, which is what happened to me. I began following my sisters, only because they were the only ones i could trust. I sung my heart out to beyonce to please them. It seems the only times i could put a smile on my face was to make a fool out of myself. Every girlfriend i brought home was dragged and i was drug for dating her. I hought having a girlfriend was what most teenage boys do but it didnt make them treat me any better though. As an adult i attempted to move out and find my own. Being by myself i began to discover more about my brokenness. I remembered a time i didnt feel awkward for staring at a woman’s ass because i thought i was gay. I got a girlfriend and a few roommates i was living with. I felt like i could finally be my own person because at home i didn’t feel like a man. No car, i was never taught how to drive so i wouldnt ask for a car. No stable job and i didn’t care. After a few years my gas ran out. My lack of knowledge of the world stunted me from succeeding. I struggled until i couldnt struggle anymore and attempted suicide. I knew i had no chance if i went back home. Id rather have died than come back. I awoke inside the hospital to my mother and sisters making jokes at my bedside, my mother calling the rest of my family and telling them my attempt was because i was afraid to come out to her. After she did that, i completely cut everyone off. I literally began begging her for help and she just sat there. She told me if i want to be drugged up for the rest of my life then i can drag myself to the mental hospital. Now im stuck. Ive never felt i had enough parenting in anything and it definitely shows. I now feel stuck in my brokenness. At least now i understand the broken man, because ive been one. Thats the only positive i think i can take from this.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: Can The Broken Be Fixed?” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

I hope everything is going great.  I recently turned 28 years old (I feel so “out of place” with everything sometimes–social media and even things that trending).

Sex: I have smashing (or being smashed) for years. I guess I’m a pro lol and that makes me a “hybrid”.  However, I always wanted to know if I had “good booty”. I make sure that it’s CLEAN and smooth. I don’t get fucked often like I wanted or as frequently lol. The “trade” always say “you creaming” or “that’s some good shit”.  I guess I always self-doubting myself because I always think they say that to all the other foxes. As far as my “manhood” the girls always that its big cuz they see the print. But I think it’s average. Even in bed, they can’t take it ( that what they say). I guess I have become very insecure about my sex life/game.  It seems that with social media, that everyone is banged out and I’m behind the curve.

I don’t know how to feel. I guess the lack of sex and interaction of dating has made me feel unattractive.  I shouldn’t compare myself to the guys on Instagram, etc; however, those the guys I want to date and become.  I should be happy that I’m alive and happy.  What do you think?

Love the blog, keep it up.  The FOXHOLE loves you!!!

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Am Becoming Insecure About My Sex Game! Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

I love your blog, it keeps me going especially while I was in school. The stories of work and relationship keeps me alert and steadfast. Also, inspirational lessons we can all learn from is beneficial. I would like your opinion about the Nicki Minaj’s Paper magazine cover. I know Eve said something about on the talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz0qoOgyWSQ

(SN: I think she going to be a wonderful host on the Talk). Remy & Kim had put out a video which is pretty dope. Cardi B is doing her think. I think there’s so much going on in the female rap game (good & bad) that it’s sorta refreshing. I believe that there’s so much talent in Hip-Hop among females that’s impossible to expose them all. For example: there’s KashDoll, Young MA, Snow tha Product, Rapsody, Tokyo Jetz, Lk-47, Dreezy, Kamaiyah., and also girls like Azeaila, Iggy, and Dej Loaf…there should be room. However, I just don’t believe that myth “One Sole Female MC”. I do believe in marketing, promotion, and having a strong, functioning team behind you. I mean these record labels aren’t putting money behind these females, until now. Think about it, Remy was so heavy about being “independent” yet she took a $10 million dollar deal with Colombia. That says something, because you need a record label to reach another level of success. These labels are now just now having a “light-bulb” going off about female rappers. You have Nicki, who is arguably the most successful female rapper…she’s a brand. She made the right, calculated moves to get to that point. Yet, all these other rappers and you can’t do the same (it’s the labels). For example, Iggy who had the #1 and #2 record at the time and yet she went under (other forces had something to do with that) plus T.I. left her high and dry.

I’m so sorry for the long tangent, but I would love your opinion. Keep doing your thing and stay bless and true.

Best Wishes

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: The State of All These Vixen Rappers In The Forests” →

FOXMAIL

I’ve been stalking your blog for about 2 years now but I never comment, but I love your blog and the advice you give so now it’s time for me to ask for some advice for my self.

Some background about me, I am 18 years old and I live in London and I am attracted to females and males so I guess I’m bi and I guess I’m DL because nobody knows about it, but right now I’m thinking of experimenting. I’ve been curious for a long time but now, I’ve had sex with a girl and I’ve watched gay porn since like a few months ago and I like it but bare in mind that I’ve been curious for a very long time, like probably since 13 years old. However, now, I want to take my curiosity to the next level…

I want to try sex with a man.

Recently, I downloaded Grindr ( I know, bad move) but it’s seemingly the only place to find someone who wants to get down and where I live I’m sure there are gays but the girls come out more than boys. It is interesting to see who uses it though because I’m seeing people who you wouldn’t think are gay and I’ve actually chatted to one – he told me he was “straight-acting” , but was out to his boys, i just found that interesting, like you know those type of gays are around but not until you actually see it for yourself, its fascinating. Anyway, I am aware of how bad that app can get, I don’t trust anyone on there, I don’t act a fool and stupidly send pics to everyone, like I don’t know if I could be talking to the killer so I’m very conscious about who I’m talking to, but obviously you never know because people are very good actors.

I’ve got the usual DL worries, I’m scared that someone will see my messages or this guy I’m currently talking to will tell other people about me, at this time of writing, we have not exchanged face pics but we have described ourselves to each other and I like the sound of him, there is a spark. But, I‘m scared that I may be going in too fast and acting like I’m ready when I’m not, you know? It’s annoying because me being ready fluctuates – sometimes I am and I feel to try the dick and sometimes I’m like maybe not now.

As slightly previously mentioned , I’ve met this one guy on Grindr and we seem to be clicking, we’ve moved from Grindr to iMessage and I’m literally talking to him as I type this and (UPDATE) – he’s just given me a time frame of 9 days to “get some”, as he mentioned that his “head game was crazy”, and I said that “I want some of that” – messy I know.

So basically Jamari, my questions to you are:

1) Do I continue using Grindr to explore my curiousity (in terms of having gay sex), becasue the main thing I want to try is sex with a guy
2) Any tips with using an app like Grindr?
3) Am I rushing into things, I only started using Grindr however at times I feel like 100% ready then at times my confidence comes all the way back down and I don’t feel ready at all
4) Any tips to prepare for sex with a guy?

I’m sorry if this seems long and messy but I am hoping for your advice really soon, I am a fan and I love your work on here. Congratulations on your recent job position by the way, it’s nice too see your growth on here and how you broadcast it.

Help me, Jamari!

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Want To Lose My Virginity on Grindr! Help!” →

FOXMAIL

Hey J,

Hope all is well with you. Visiting your blog everyday is like a ritual for me. Whenever your site is down I panic haha, keep doing your thing, you have people who really enjoy your content. This is going to be lengthy so sit back and relax.

Anyway I wanted to come & talk to you about men. Why is it so hard to find a cool guy who you can mess with on the regular and isn’t full of shit? I know how dysfunctional gay men are when it comes to relationships so I never ask that from a guy. I don’t need that extra in my life just yet. Because to me it’s a recipe for disaster. My time will come gradually by the grace of fate. Not force.

Now I’m a tall (6’3) muscular (Trevor Siggs body type) student/model. I have ZERO problem attracting men (and women even though I’m fully gay), and it’s always been that way since I was in school. However here’s my gripe, it seems like the ones that I like, will sleep with you and then act like you don’t exist after that. How are people so unattached to their emotions? I know you shouldn’t expect anything after a hookup but damn.

Two days ago this Jamaican guy from Canada visited my city for work, he works in real estate. He was really muscular and was packing. He said he’s planning to move to my city soon. Mind you, I’m 20 and he was 30. I generally like my men a little bit older than me. He hit me up on grindr and asked me to come to his hotel room so I came over that evening. I walked into his hotel room while he was on a conference call but once that call ended this man gave me this work!! (if you know what I mean). He was so passionate, he loved kissing, he fucked me in every position and knew my limits, he knew when to be gentle/slow and when to pick up the place and went steady with me until I came. He even fed me grapes through his mouth after that afterwards. Everything was like a movie. After that he took me to a 5 star Chinese restaurant that was on the ground floor of his hotel, we spoke and then he drove me in his car to his gym. When he dropped me off at my place he told me to stay in touch with him and he said he’ll hit me up before he leaves to go back to Canada.

I messaged him the next day just to say hi and he completely ignored me. Now my thing is this, I completely UNDERSTAND when guys just want to fuck and go. Trust me I’ve been there. However why go through all that to take me to dinner and even LIE about wanting to stay in contact after that. I never asked this guy to stay in touch. HE DID. Why do all of that if you just wanted NSA one night stand? It got me triggered and I feel like I’m already becoming jaded at such a young age. This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with a liar. Here’s the thing though, I learn lessons through every fuck up that is done to me by other guys so I know I’ll be more vigilant and good in the long run. All of this came after I took a two month hiatus from dating apps because I wanted a break, however my male hormones kicked in and I was in need of sex.

But I just wanted to ask how to have sex and not get attached? Because when a guy really treats me good it’s hard for me to separate my emotions and draw the line. I wish I was numb to it all.

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: How Can I Be Numb To Good Dick After A Hook Up? Help!” →

so i love to know the foxhole is concerned about things.
ya’ll always reach out to me to see what’s really going on.
well one of the vet foxholers,
malcolm,
sent me this tweet today:

hmm.
it says that ( x the last episode ) was uploaded a month ago.
so you know i had to find out.
i sent tripp ali and “@” and this is how it went…
Continue reading “New “Tex Brown” Episodes With Tripp Ali?” →