the ugly monster that is me with body dysmorphic disorder

while i was at the wedding on sunday,
i was having a shit ton of fun.
it was starting to get cold af and one of the bride’s brother let me borrow his jacket.
once i put it on:

“OMG YOU LOOK SO GOOD!
YOU GIVE OFF “COSMOPOLITAN”.

HOLD ON LET ME TAKE PICTURES OF YOU!”

thats when i started getting nervous.
he asked me to smile for the pictures,
but i hate my smile.
i think it makes me look weird since my lips are really big.
he took some pictures and everyone was “oooh” and “aww” at them.

“This should be your Grindr default picture.
Someone would match with you right now.”

when i looked at one of the pictures from this impromptu photoshoot.
i didn’t see any of that.
i zoomed right in on all my flaws and everything i see that is wrong with me.

a day later,
he sent me all the pictures via whatsapp.
i was on the phone with hunter and as i looked at all the pictures…

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how you got involved with male makeup and “damage control”

when i went to a modeling school,
which was a waste of time but taught me a lot,
they gave me a “model” kit.
in the kit was this book:

and:

– cheap foundation
– cheap mascara
– cheap concealer

I’m sure it was made in a back alley,
but it was a starter kit for being “a model”.

damage control” shouldn’t be a process tbh.
it can be as little or as much as you need.
i’ve been in situations where i worked all day and had to go out that same night.
i have oily skin and when i’m tired,
i can look it.
before you go through any of this,
there are a few things you need to know.
this entry is for those who were confused like me.
i’m here to bless you as my past friend did…

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how i got involved with male makeup and “damage control”

Let’s have a conversation.
This will be a two-part entry…

 my skin was absolute trash.
my teenage acne still had no chill when i turned 20.
because i had so many pimples,
they left a ton of acne scarring on my face.
people would legit comment on how bad my skin use to be.
one weekend in the early 00s,
i went on a weekend getaway trip to see good friends who lived in the dmv.
there was this wolf i was kinda talking-ish to that i wanted to meet up with.
he had a girlfriend
or a boyfriend
i can’t remember tbh,
but he wanted to get a drink on saturday night.
for what i can remember,
that weekend was a good one as far as pimples,
but the acne scars were outta control.
my good friend at the time was a very “face forward” type of fox.
he was all about your visuals and presentation.

“We need to do some damage control on you.”

i’ll never forget how i chuckled at those words.
damage control“.
so he took me to a walmart and…

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if you’re a male and want to wear makeup, alex rodriguez might have the right shade for you!

it is taboo to talk about males who wear makeup.
when we think of males who wear makeup,
it’s always associated with the feminine.
in reality,
a shit ton of males wear makeup besides celebs.
everyone isn’t blessed to have model-like skin.
let’s not act like we don’t live in a very narc world where we need to look perfect.
filters are great for if you never plan on being outside,
like ever,
so some males learn how to apply makeup that looks natural.
ex-baseball baller wolf,
alex rodriguez,
is coming out with a male makeup line with “hims“…

Continue reading “if you’re a male and want to wear makeup, alex rodriguez might have the right shade for you!”

so will we be rocking bangs for 2021? (drake seems to think so)

this is my favorite “look” of drake.
that beard/ceaser combo really did wonders for his glo up.
drake debuted his new hairstyle yesterday and…

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everything to make you put that extra cake or the bottle of henny down (big belly business)

during the battle between beenie man vs bounty killer on versuz,
the main talk was:

  1. How fucking amazing it was!
  2. The belly on Beenie Man

 beenie was a real slim wolf in his prime so i’m sure age had a lot to with it.


i’ve heard that overindulgence of alcohol starts to show up in your stomach first.
ive seen guys go from having abs to having serious beer bellies due to drinking high key.
that abusing hard likka will catch up to ya eventually.
i was wondering if this was the same situation with busta rhymes?
remember he was muscular thick back in the day?


he put up his recent weight loss journey on ig a few days ago..

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