i believe in energy.
i believe your energy,
whatever it is you’re feeling,
can be transferred to someone else.
so depending on how you use that energy,
you can either inspire or repel.
it simple.
bitch don’t kill my vibe.
when things are going great in my life,
my energy can be at an all time high.
when I’m low,
i will never deny that i can be a bit of a downer.
i will let you know and quickly take a mental vacation.
shut everything down so i can regroup.
with this site,
it helps me to vent and just be as honest about things as i can.
things i wouldn’t tell people around me.
left on the other hand…
so left hit me up last night saying he was depressed.
being the person i am,
i am always there for my friends with a shoulder.
so he said:
“I’m bored.
i just want more out my life,
ya know?
its like 10pm and I’m home on a thursday night.
sigh.”
ok fine.
the entire conversation was dominated by the fact he doesn’t have much of a social life anymore.
he has dedicated his energy into going to school to get his education.
its called sacrifice.
you either want to become a doctor,
or you want to be in the streets being ragga.
pick one.
so today he hit me up with the same attitude.
i woke up feeling inspired.
he sent me a pic of him pouting.
like nigga did you pray this morning?
i told him that if he is gonna depress my life,
i don’t want to speak to him today.
he can dwell and dwell until i’m feeling like my life is also.
well he sent me the emoji peace sign and that was that.
i dislike ungrateful people.
i can understand if he was in my shoes.
here i am without my parents for another holiday season,
my best friend passed away this year,
i am confused has to how ima pay my rent this month,
ue is supposedly over at the end of the month,
i cracked my phone screen,
i’m probably not getting anything for christmas,
no wolf and not even a prospect on the horizon,
and i have no job.
the only thing that has me hype is the fact wordpress.org changed the dashboard.
everything looks all smooth behind the wheel.
i even got to pick the color:
ain’t it purty?
left on the other hand has his parents,
siblings,
he has a job,
has a degree under his belt,
and has a good 10,000 alone in his savings account.
you don’t have any right to be depressed about ANYTHING.
yet i’m still holding onto the hope that something changes in my life.
that someone recognizes my talent,
or a baller wolf swoops me up and lets me drip my swagu all over him.
it could happen!
jamari fox will rise up from the invisible.
that keeps me with hope,
even when i see the bridge ahead is out.
so when i hear people complaining about bullshit,
bullshit that makes no type of sense,
i’m quick to want to:
ugh dammit.
I dont know maybe its me but it seemed that from the convo, he may have been reaching out for advice or in a secret way an out within you. Ya know, like he chose to speak with you about not having a social life, so maybe he wants to be more social with you.
Friends sometimes need another friend to show them a way to be social and still maintain success. Its like making someone believe an idea you came up with is theirs. Lol same thing.
Your friend should be feeling blessed if his life is that good financially. What is wrong with people?
Another way of looking at it: sometimes, those people are actually bragging about what they have in the guise of complaining.
I know friends like this. Always coming to you for relationship problems and you pour your heart out to them every time out of genuine concern for their well being as they come to you crying their eyes out about how that nigga beat them, cheats on them, and got another baby on the way but in the end they still with him. smh.
Sometimes, I look at my phone and just don’t answer until I recovered from the last emotionally blood sucking conversation.
I know where you are coming from! My “friend” is always depress as well and I get so sick of it cause what is there for you to be depressed about? It okay to be sad once in awhile, but bitch you gotta do something to make yourself happy because there are people who are far more worst condition than you.
Have you ever thought applying at a modeling agency? Maybe to become a model or become a recruiter or at the front desk?
^omg i’d LOVE to do that.
this vixen i know works in the building with one in it.
i asked her to keep a look out for when they were hiring.
i could do that for a living and not even be upset about it.