i didn’t know how much the foxhole meant to me until it was suspended today.
so i was at work and my phone starts blowing up…
the foxhole is down!
widespread panic.
now the crazy part was something told me bring my laptop to work today.
i packed it up,
but then i put it back on the table.
my foxy senses damn near picked up on this issue before it happened.
so i’m getting all these emails and i called my hosting company asap.
they tell me the site has been suspended because it’s been using way too much cpu.
i’m on the phone,
going in behind a bathroom stall on another floor,
trying to get some kind of fix.
nothing
i come home and they grant me access.
i start digging.
at this point,
i’m trying to figure out what i may upgraded wrong.
maybe a plug in needed to be updated/erased.
i just didn’t know what to do.
so i did a few tweaks and sent an email.this was around 6pm.
no answer
i fell asleep and woke up,
hoping i’d get some kind of resolve.
nada
i called them,
and in typical new yawk fashion,
went off on this poor snow wolf.
i was so tite.
i kept saying:
“my readers don’t know what is going on.”
“they keep seeing something about a password.”
“that is not fair to them or me.”
all he kept saying is:
“…upgrading to a larger server”
…”cost more money”
“…someone outside of them to fix this issue”
all i kept seeing in my head was:
DOOMED
that is when i broke down.
i started crying on the phone to this stranger.
i just couldn’t do it anymore.
i have been through so much this year.
work wolf
mi
my job
i just celebrated my 7 year blogging anniversary:
this site means so much to me,
and literally keeps me happy these days,
and to have it end like this?
i had no resources in web design or to even help me bring the foxhole back.
it just felt like the end.
well i don’t know if this snow wolf was an angel,
but he helped escalate the issue.
he sent me some forms,
but told me to just hold on and he would put it as an “emergency issue”.
thank you jesus
so i go wash my face and play “the waiting game”.
i came across a meditation on youtube for the full moon.
i decided to do it as it was all about “letting go”.
i lit some candles and participated.
i felt like an energy was lifted off me after it was done.
i lay down and check my email:
…when i say i cried?
like i couldn’t stop crying.
i kept saying “thank you god” and just let it all out.
it felt like one of those soul cries when you have something heavy on you.
i think i cried all my fucks completely out.
i want to apologize to the foxhole tonight.
you know that if you come to the site,
and it’s not here,
that something is up.
just be patient as i am behind the scenes.
i may have to launch a “foxhole bulletin blog” when issues arise.
so we are back up for right now,
but i’m left to wonder…
What do I do?
i can’t have my site shutting down as i am building my brand.
the foxhole is growing daily and their servers are starting to see the issues.
i can’t have this happen again.
lowkey: i felt like carrie when her laptop died….
…just alone with no wolf to calm me down.
smh.
i never felt so alone in my life than i did today.
I thought someone hacked you or some shhtt. I was on the site as it happened because I was trying to send the naked NFL baller story to a friend.
I had the day from hell yesterday, a Black Vixen tried to end my career at work with some backstabbing shenanigans so I was down in the dumps on yesterday and just came home feeling defeated, and went to log on the foxhole and that ish said DENIED (LOL) I was like WTF what else can go wrong today. I sort of panicked hoping you were okay J, my mind started racing. I realize at that moment that this is more than just a blog but a family and one of the places I go to escape from it all and just chill and see what my brothers and let me not forget sisters (@YCollete) are doing. I kept going back and getting the same message and I started to worry, so when I see that you are back in full effect, I am so happy. I would be having some serious withdrawals without the foxhole.
^oh no t!
im sorry to hear what is happening at your job!
you know I been there.
ive learned that everything will pass in due time and those who are wrong WILL get exposed.
you gotta just keep God close and he will answer!
my apologies on the foxhole messing up.
hell,
my hosting company should be apologizing to everyone.
they even had me defeated lol
Damn sorry about your bad day yesterday Tajan. Try not to worry Karma has a way of taking care of your enemies better than you ever could.
I am glad you are back up bro. Good to know that no one was out to get you and that it was just the server.
Glad you’re back..I got concerned for a quick sec like “did you change access to the site now?” but then realized it was a glitch…couldn’t have imagined so much drama behind it though…keep ya head up bruh, your time us near
^i would NEVER ask the foxhole for a username and password.
EVER.
EVER EVER EVER.
one more “ever” for effect.
EVER.
that was the shit that pissed me off the most.
Glad you’re back J , my bestie called and was freaking out that she couldn’t get to your site. I thought you were updating something since you usually don’t post Fridays.
I’m glad you are back up! You should look into a new client (My tech vocab isn’t gifted. Lol) so it doesn’t happen again. And its always a good catharsis to cry. I thought it was by subscription only when I saw the password and username request. I thought you got fancy on us! Lol Welcome back Jamari!
At first I thought it was shenanigans, until I tried to get on with my old phone. Then I thought it was my network. All in all, it’s good to see it all worked out. Sometimes the power of a good cry can work in all ways and always…
You’re destined for greatness…all of this will become your testimony…keep on pushing…
^thank you malcolm!
you are always such a blessing with the words!
why don’t you go with squarespace I’m sure you been told this before.
^i need to review more about squarespace.
i’ll call them tomorrow for more details.
Yeah I’ve heard good things about them plus they have a 24 hour help staff, I listen to the podcast “The Read” and since it’s one of their Sponsors they talk about it all the time. Hell i’m sure with the views and outreach you have they would be willing to sponsor you too.
Glad everything is back to normal. It may be time to pass the hat to fund a new server.
^im going to have to.
i can’t do this again.
today was stress and i can’t afford “shut downs” with no warnings.