in watching “sleeping beauty” last night,
i’ve come to realize that aurora was insane amounts of white privilege.
she did nothing the entire movie but sing the other princesses under the table,
frolic around with wild animals in the forest,
had 3 goons with wands perpetrating as the help,
and slept the rest of the time.
foxhole,
she woke up to a man and a whole kingdom.

Oh hi,
I’m a stan.

so i coulda sworn maleficent was causing pure bacchanal over something else.
like,
i thought aurora was gonna take her place as queen or something.
foxhole…

She was mad over not being invited to a baby shower?

maaaaaaaad petty.
i can only imagine the tantrum she threw over not being invited to the gender reveal.
maleficent was a raging narcissist and a full blown psychopath.
not only that,
she was bored and bitter af.
she said she wasn’t sleeping well so you know she was cranky at the slightest shit.
bad enough,
her goons thought aurora was still a baby for the last 16 years.
they looked like they didn’t bathe anyway.
her life was a mess.
bad bitch angie jolie rendition of maleficent was the anti hero i stan for.
the cartoon was a petty and sloppy mess (with good lines tho).

something bugged me with this movie tho.
when aurora was fresh out the cooch and they told prince philip he would marry her.
um…

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what in the statutory rape is going on?!
how old is this child?!?
there is a lot to unpack with the selling off of this baby.
like geez dad,
can she at least finish high school before we start talking marriage?
even at 16,
they talking about babies.
like,
wtf?

What if he grew up to be ugly or a drug addict?

the three goons with the wands were pretty much responsible for killing maleficent.
prince phillip was kinda useless in that whole battle.

side-note: my favorite line is “…and all the powers of hell”.
yes,
raise the demons.

like a typical cute male,
they put a battery in his back and ended up doing all the work.
even in the fairy tales,
they got that shit right.
i know one thing…

They were making me vex off with the color of the damn dress.

they were so overbearing.
like,
do you even know what this chick’s favorite color is?
ugh.
it was their fault maleficent even found their hideout.
i see why they had to put everyone to sleep so they could fix their nonsense.

all in all,
i thought aurora was the prettiest of the white princesses.
“sleeping beauty” wasn’t my favorite so far.
it was white privilege with a nap.

lowkey: why come i realized when watching…

was this song:

don’t judge me.