the top shelf toy story

the easier toys sit on the bottom shelf.
you know the ones that are played with the most.
they are the ones that are at an arm’s reach.
those toys get to go everywhere

As worn out as they get,
they end up getting the most play.

the fancier toys sit on the top shelf.
even though they’re at an arm’s length,
often times,
they are looked at and treated differently.
a compliment i guess,
but often times,
it gets very lonely up there.

i don’t know if you’re like me,
but sometimes,
you’re passed over for the toys on the bottom shelf.
they have all these interesting experiences and you’re just sitting up there.
it doesn’t feel good at all.
people go for what is easier to get.
they get intimidated so easily by anything that presents itself as a challenge.
that’s the shit that gets me.
people tell you:

“Put yourself out there!”

you’re open and available,
but something about you just screams “look but don’t touch“.
maybe it’s how you were raised?
your career?
your insecurities?
past experiences made you calm all the way down?

you could be just someone other people think are “better” than what they’re use to.
it makes you feel awkward and weird like you don’t fit in.
it’s not a good feeling even tho it keeps you out of a lot of bullshit.
that was on my spirit today.
i don’t know who can relate.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

8 thoughts on “the top shelf toy story

  1. This is my life story. Been told they felt I would outgrow them based on my career. I’ve been told to wait for guys while they hoe around. I am 100% fine with being single. They say they like a challenge but won’t even put 0.1% effort into you, but when they’re bored and used up, think I will respond.

    They say they want relationship goals, but can’t be bothered to try. So they go for low hanging fruit. Making the low-hanging fruit feel like they’re special. But having constant sex doesn’t make you special. It means somebody needs you to fulfill their biological urges. What about after they bust?

    I refuse to deal with anyone that gives me that “You’re hubby material, let me f around and then I’ll propose”. Don’t come to me while you still want to f around when you know I’m not about that. Do not waste my time and come when YOU are ready. Even then, I might not be. We are told if we wait around for an fboy, we will get the prize in the end. I’m not trying to get married at 70 when he has no teeth.

  2. Sadly in this new Gay age we all live in, you can be a positive ray of light, workout, take your vitamins, drink your water, read, be well traveled, have love for your fellow man and you still will find nothing but trash out here to date. It will never be enough, most of these dudes no matter what you do will find a way to ghost you. I have found out in this social media world, it is a lot of hyena’s out here trying to play like they are legit. Get in your DM’s playing like they are the one, but all along just want nudes, and when they see they are not going to get them, they move along or many will talk to you until you give them some attention and then they cool off. So I say all this to say, keep being the Toy at the top of the shelf and keep working and improving yourself. I am at the point that I know now it is going to be luck more than anything else when you meet someone who you will connect with. He is probably somewhere far away and you will meet him on vacation or he could be right up under your nose. I have poured my heart out to dudes and expressed interest thinking they were sincere only to be left hanging, and I have not shown too much interest in dudes and they turn out to be the ones who are sincere. It is all a crap shoot. You have to know what you will and wont do. If selling yourself short will make you stay up late at night then dont do it. Everybody is pretending to be something there not these days. It is no magical formula, and many of the things that go on behind closed doors of these perfect relationships will probably leave us with our mouths open in shock. I have to have the faith that it will all work out the way it is suppose to in the end.

    1. This was a word.

      “but all along just want nudes, and when they see they are not going to get them, they move along or many will talk to you until you give them some attention and then they cool off. ”

      Felt that in my soul!

      A crap shoot indeed.

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