you ever played the game “jenga”?
its that board game where you put blocks in a stack.
once the stack gets high,
you have to then start pulling blocks out one by one.
as you pull it out slowly,
the probability of the stack falling greatly increases.
that is my mind.
i have a lot of negative self talk that i’ve started to notice.
i’ve been getting a lot of “a-ha” moments daily.
once someone hurts me,
i hold it inside.
i’ll basically over-think what they did to me,
what i should have said,
and how wrong the other animal is.
then i go after me and what i assumed i did wrong.
once i build up this mental negativity,
i pick myself apart until it all crumbles.
until i crumble.
i really want to stop this.
i feel like i can’t move forward in life because of this.
everyone who has hurt me is gone.
i should have said what i needed to say then.
those scenes have been over and done with.
instead of beatin’ myself up,
i need to constantly fill myself with my positives.
it’s like i have to make an effort to always focus on that.
so i’ve decided a little experiment for me.
i’m going to try speaking positive to myself for one day.
i’m sure i will be tested,
but i’m up for the challenge.
if i pass that test,
i’ll try it the next day.
i’m determined to win.
wish me luck.
lowkey: i hope i can keep this up tomorrow.
please pray for me.