I was supposed to have a little brother.
He died in my mother’s womb.
I often wonder how his birth,
rather than my sisters,
would have changed the trajectory of my life?

i get a sense of dread when the holidays start to pull up.
if i have no plans,
the FOMO hits me hard.
last year,
i had thee best thanksgiving OOO.
karaoke’s family made me feel like i was part of their own.
it was a traditional black southern thanksgiving.
plans fell through for me to go down there again this year.
so the day of thanksgiving,
i had a pretty chill day.
the day after?…

Continue reading “yesterday, i hated my thanksgiving leftovers” →

this new variant,
omarion omicron,
seems like it’s gonna be a doozy with how they’re hyping.
everyone should get their #weoutside out their systems now.
who really knows tho.
i haven’t really seen a lot of fighting in the streets as before.
it’s been kinda quiet.
i thought folks were on chill mode,
but this group of gay jackals on the night before thanksgiving last summer tho…

Continue reading “i just wanted to do hoodrat shit with my friends (112)” →

every time the holiday season comes around,
i feel immense loneliness within my soul.
i start feeling sad about “me vs what everyone else is doing”.

I wonder if there were no social media and this VIP access in their lives,
would we really care what people were doing during the holidays?

people meaning those who hurt us or our exes who easily moved on.
family members who don’t want to invite you because you’re gay.
your crackhead cousin and drunk uncle get invites but yours got lost in email somehow.
i’ve been listening to adele’s recent album and i’m sure that isn’t helping either.
that damn adele…
there is a current emotional trifecta that is happening to some of us…

Continue reading “f*ck the holidays: jamari fox 2021 edition” →

i was playing video games and a wave of sadness washed over me.
a dude i’ve been interested in has been on my mind,
along with many questions i have about him,
but that helped pulled me under the current of distress ive been feeling.
the holidays are usually really tough for me.
it tends to enhance just how alone i am in this world.
when i asked my sister to live with me,
i thought that would help make me feel that sense of family.
the pandemic during this holiday season really made me feel the loneliness really hard…

Continue reading “fuck this 2020 holiday season (that’s the loneliness talking)” →

i was all set to head down to brooklyn for thanksgiving.
my home-vixen i use to work with,
one that i haven’t seen in a hot minute,
was throwing a small get-together at her crib.
the issue i was having was how i was getting down there.
she promised me a ride,
but in case that fell through,
i was gonna hop in an uber.

I wasn’t doing MTA at all

we have been watching the rona news carefully.
new yawk has been starting to spike something stupid.
cuomo was talking about gatherings only having 10 people.
well,
she sent me this today…

Continue reading “how to lose friends and alienate people for thanksgiving” →

do you mind if i take off my shoes for a second to talk about charles?
i just want to get comfortable.

i’ve been wanting to font about charles and look at God…
marvin bienaime posted a thanksgiving preview starring charles.
a foxholer alerted me to the following and well…
Continue reading “i’d love charles to be the meat in my salad (inside voice)” →