Been lurking in the foxhole for years – needless to say I enjoy everything I read.
Thank you for your authenticity and for your insight. Just by being you, you’re not only entertaining and informing folk, you’re helping folk.
Getting down to it, I need a third opinion on a situation I’m in.
Ok, so … we all have a thing right? My thing has always been height. I’m 26, 5’11, and am really only attracted to guys taller than me. Don’t know what it is but it’s always been that way. I feel like there’d be a thrill in topping a tall guy and I’ve always made the joke that I’d never let an itty bitty baby climb my back. I am equal opportunity however and have found myself attracted to (and talking to) dark, light, wide, narrow, masculine, feminine but the deal breaker has always been height. I’ve liked random athletes and celebrities and once I discovered they were shorter than me, it’s like a switch flipped. Instant turn-off.
Also, I’m like the last gay virgin. I have always wanted the first time to be with a dude I was in a relationship with. I have missed some good FINE piece but at least they were straight up and let me know they just wanted to fuck with no pretense. I don’t want the first time to be a random I get sprung over.
Fast forward to today. I recently made a friend in a colleague who I assumed was straight. After he left the company for a better position, we got closer and started hanging out. I’m not really flamboyant so after a couple months, he asked me if I was gay. I admitted I was and he admitted he was bi and that he only befriended me because he thought he could smash. Negative. He’s like 5’9. On top of that, I do not find him attractive at all. What’s the problem then? His energy, his aura … is sexy AF!!! Now that we know about each other, he’s always making comments and jokes about having me. I laugh it off but I think about it. He’s so confident it’s sexy. And sometimes I even find myself jacking off to the thought of him. But, I repeat, I don’t like him! It’s like I’m just super horny. He’s asked me if I would ever consider a relationship with him – we’ve had very candid convos – and I admitted I wouldn’t. Before that, I even got pissy drunk one night, got horny, and found my way over to his condo. He felt me up but he didn’t take advantage – said he wanted me to make that decision in my right mind.
Should I give him a chance? Shade is, I really wanna fuck and get fucked but I always I thought it’d be with a tall guy who I was actually attracted-attracted to. He really is good people tho. I just don’t want to feel like I am compromising what I want…or thought I’d have? Could it be he just happens to be present and showing me attention? My BFF thinks I’m being superficial and acting spoiled. My sis says I’m just worried that after holding out for so long, nothing else will come around.
what would you do?
what would y’all do?
^that is so deep.
working at this job i’m at now,
celebrities and baller wolves in the news,
and even being on social media…
everyone is a little (or alot) fucked up.
i use to think everyone besides me was perfect.
it was like i looked in the mirror and my flaws were enhanced.
i spent my life trying to be flawless,
saying the “right” thing,
careful not to offend people,
and OD judging myself harshly for my mistakes.
mistakes that brought about my biggest blessings.
the crazy part about all of that was everyone that was around me…
those same people i tried desperately to impress…
the ones who judged and talked about me…
they were all completely FUCKED UP!!!!
like as soon as their secrets came out in the wash,
i wanted to drown myself for even giving a fuck in the first place.
irony and karma have been my greatest allies in this journey of mine.
now i just wait for it.
a disease that anyone can catch.
well your in luck.
well for some anyway…
Continue reading “I Want Him 2 Be Perfect (Like No Flaws. At All. Period. None.)”
“jamari sit up straight.”
“stop biting your nails.”
“i wish you could be more like the ______.”
“why aren’t you playing sports?”
“this silly writing this is just a hobby.”
“what website was that?”
“who are you talking too?”
“please don’t embarrass us.”
“god jamari how could you be so stupid?”…
quick snack before bed?…