Ugly. Lanky. Awkward.
“A Girl” aka Not Like The Other Boys
that’s how i used toview myself.
anytime i got high,
that is the fox i saw in my mind.
i would associate myself with how they spoke of “bullers” in barbados.
( x what a buller is )
*These males that dl males crept into their backdoors secretly to fuck. *The ones that would be ignored and shamed in public. *Some dressed up in drag and were labeled crazy.
i was scared to be myself because this is how i felt i was viewed.
it made me super self-conscious and living in my headall the time. “is this why many of them kept me as a secret?” “why they didn’t want people to know we were friends/close?” i’m sure it was true to some but that wasn’t the reality for all. i asked myself a question while on my day off yesterday…
I don’t believe a single thing I see on social media these days.
i feel like 98% of things posted are cap,
especially from males.
there is a real bts story that we won’t be shown. well, that is “until“.
until someone gets sick of their shit and goes for exposure. when it comes to the attentionistos, i use to wonder how they had no jobs or careers but…
i have been a silly hoe.
not in the literal sense, depending on which era of my life i was in,
but i was giving a part of me away for “something”.
i was spreading myself far and wide for love and affection.
when i looked at how many bodies i collected,
and how we were all virtual strangers at this point,
i realized that these folks don’t need direct access to me anymore. so in my new rebrand, restart, and rebecoming…
some people don’t have what it takes to be a star.
everyone wants to bypass the hard work it takes to create content.
they want to bypass that straight towards the admirationand stans NOW.
for someone like beyonce, who literally had to wake up at 5 am to run and sing in heels to learn breath control, that has all paid off for her becoming a legend for our generation.
i’m sure beyonce has felt pressure to do all that she does. with big heels comes a bigger purpose.
even britney spearswere out here working her ass off for her spot in pop.
some of the entertainers of today are kinda lazy and complain way too much. rapping vixen, doja cat, seems like one of those entertainers.
she said she hasn’t fun being a star and hates all the thingsthat come with being famous…
i’d imagine if you had the rona,
you’d be much more carefulonce you were let outside. cedrick-kentrell, who “fought for his life” with the rona earlier this month, decided to forget what he experienced as soon as they opened up atlanta.
this is what he posted on ig when he was diagnosed: