when i walked in the door,
the sudden burst of “loneliness” welcomed me.
it was loud.
echoed down the halls.
i felt a sudden sadness take over me.
i really did not miss being here at all.
actually i regretted leaving…

…before the 7th of january.
i took care of the unemployment bullshit today,
even though they still threatening to do whatever.
“whatever”.
well i’m back in the city now.
yay!

/endsarcasm.

lowkey: oscar is still alive.
thank god.

i just threw up in front of everyone and everything.
yes.
blew chunks of last night all over the place.
i had a feeling i was going to be sick tho.
you ever been sleep but you felt like you wanted to throw up?
my stomach was hurting BAD and i tossed and turned.
so i had an appointment at the unemployment office this morning….
Continue reading “It Tried To Keep It In, But It Came Out Way Too Fast” →

“so i take it we not fuckin?”

bye astro-wolf.
that was the text i got at 7am this morning.
i ignored it.
that makes about 7 random texts i have ignored.
he still don’t know why either.
he should ask whoever texted me asking who i was…

Continue reading “Who Woulda Thunk Home Depot Had All Kind of Woods, Drills, and Pipes?” →

does this…

make you hard as steel?
wolves come and go,
but green can keep me warm at night.
no seriously it can:

if i asked your broke ass what would you do if you got rich tomorrow…
i am sure you could provide me a list or two.
hell maybe 5.
we spend our days day dreaming of a better life.
this is what we bust our ass for daily.
getting up and going to a “ain’t shit” job.
working about 10 hours a day hoping one day,
it will all pay off.
one where we can afford to pay our bills,
eat at the most expensive restaurants,
travel to far away lands,
and hob knob with the best of em.
don’t even have to mention the amount of pussy/ass/dick you will get.
once you have money,
it cums (literally) by the boat loads.
i’m sure those online attention whores will finally notice you.
everyone becomes your friend.
you can literally buy other people to hang with you.
life certainly starts to become more enjoyable.
well that is before it’s all gone.
money,
low self esteem,
and no plan is the devil.
i had to ask the foxhole…

Can you mentally afford to be rich?

Continue reading “I Want To Make Love To You On A Bed Full Of Money” →

breezy wolf just wants you to love him.
that’s all.
is that so hard?
he has a video for his new song,
“home“.

it’s a short documentary of sorts…

Continue reading “Breezy Wolf Has Something Good Cummin’ For Ya” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari.

First I have to say I love your site and you have definitely made a huge impact in my life as a discreet “fox”. I wanted to share the Valentine’s Day letter I’m sending to my new boyfriend, who happens to be a hybrid. Check the letter out and tell me what you think!

It’s a rare and beautiful feeling when you meet someone who just allows you to be yourself. We are judged and sized-up by the world all the time, so to find a bit of respite is something I promised myself to cherish whenever it came. Enter you. I was trying to think of how I wanted to write this letter; I wracked my brain trying to figure out the best format, the wittiest jokes, the sexiest innuendos. Then it dawned on me what makes our bond of friendship and the relationship we are weaving and strengthening so amazing is that it is easy and simple and pure. So I’ve just been writing, trusting that what is on this screen will convey everything I need to.

There’s a Jill Scott song that plays in my mind almost everytime I think of you and our talks.The lyrics of the first verse sum it up nicely. She sings “I like that I can talk to you and you seem to enjoy it. I like that I can tell you exactly how I feel. I like that you don’t look at me that confused kind of way when the thoughts are just running through my mind and I can’t seem find the right words to say…” Naturally, the song is entitled “Easy Conversation” and I think that’s an accurate comparison to what we have. I’m grateful for it. I’ve forced it so many times, reaching, no, grasping, for something like that. Trying to force that which should just come naturally and evolve organically. The irony, right? But you make it easy. I don’t feel like I have to reach or pull. For that, I thank you.

I think you are amazing and I know I’ve told you that. But, I don’t think the truth ever gets old. You are amazing. You make me laugh, you break my heart (in a good way), you make me comfortable, you make me nervous (also in a good way.) You challenge me to be authentic and open. You allow me to embrace every part of my being without shame or fear. Simply amazing, you are, and I’m so glad to have met you. I’m not the clairvoyant one out of the two of us; I can only tell what is. And what is is something special and unique to me and I am honored to be cultivating that with you. I don’t know what may happen next, but I am excited and hopeful for the journey and all that it brings.

Thank you for trusting me with your past. I know it was hard for you. Thank you for letting me trust you with mine. It is just as hard for me. But you see me as a person, as a man, and not as some broken or fragile thing. And I see you as a person, and as a man, and not as some broken and pitiable thing. We are both delicate;we’re human, but it seems we’ve been able to connect on that all too human, but spiritual level and I like that. So, to my first Valentine, thank you for being you and I look forward to our future (mis)adventures together. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll get to curl up in the bed  while I’m reading some ridiculously long novel and you’re playing your PSP comparing the notes of the day and laughing at how the rest of the world isn’t lucky enough to to “get it.”

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Want To Share The Valentine’s Day Letter I’m Sending To My Hybrid!.” →