sometimes i don’t realize how powerful i am.
i’m not really “seeing” the success i “think” should have.
in reality tho,
i’m pretty where i’m supposed to be on this journey.
i wrote something in the last entry:

“if i was a white blogger,
i’d probably be taken seriously”

yeah…

…but i’m taken seriously by who really sees me too.
i created a platform that has so many readers,
both males and vixens,
from all across the us and the world,
and still doing his thing after all these years.
that is something to be celebrated.
i always see the bad,
but i’m starting to tune into the good.
i’m not getting crazy likes when i post something on my social medias,
but it seems i get the most love on the foxhole itself.

we are steadily approaching:

20 million views

in total.

That’s a big fuckin’ deal

i’m humbled about it when i could have turned a long time ago.
when you google most of these black wolves,
the ones who are dying for fame,
i tend to pop right up.
little jamari fox.
the underdog black blogger.
white bloggers don’t give a fuck about us,
let alone them.
for the males i write about,
it’s pretty much only for the “bbc”.
i’m giving you “bbc” and their whole background as well.
one of my dreams,
along side making the foxhole bigger,
is to:

Booking black wolves for models/actors/talent
Be a force who is a major network to everyone

i don’t know what kind of “career” that would be,
(“casting director”,
maybe?)
but i want to be “the one everyone goes to”.
i don’t want to be in front the camera.
i’d rather make moves behind it.
i think that’s when i’ll “see” it.
so when i get emails from idiots who just googled themselves,
it further proves that i need to recognize the good in that.

lowkey: how about karaoke told me last week that her friend pulled up the foxhole to show her an entry?????
all she said could say was “omg…”.
that felt good to hear that.