when i find out a male rage because i’ve featured them,
and he gets homophobic and toxic,
i try not to take it personal.
i mean,
he could…

– have been raped/molested by a gay male and is still traumatized

– come from a religious family and taught gay is wrong

– be gay himself and this makes his sexuality all too real for him

– could be straight and think this will take away from him getting pussy

he could also just be a total dick.
that’s not my problem.
that’s his issue to deal with.
as long as he doesn’t touch me,
i’ll go back to doing what i do best.
“win“.
starting to think this way helps me realize something.

You don’t know what folks are dealing with out here.

someone being an asshole to you could be many reasons as to why.

i always said it takes a lot to hurt my feelings.
some of these folks,
who throw shade at me for whatever reason,
wouldn’t survive a day with my mother.
after she beat them down,
they wouldn’t have survived all the other folks who ripped me to shreds.
the ones that tried to break me down because i was simply being myself.
that’s not for self pity either.
i’ve been broken down a few times that insults don’t destroy me.
i mean,
my feelings do get bruised,
but i’m able to bounce back quicker.

maybe your boss snapped on you because they’re father is dying?
maybe your friend is suddenly different because they’re struggling with something internally?
maybe your teacher is hard on you because they see your fuckin’ up your talent?

they could also just be humans and moody.
always remember you have dealt with monsters bigger than this.
i like to think that folks rage because they don’t have control.
when i’m depressed or angry,
it’s often because i’m losing control in some area of my life.
when you look at others in that way,
and attach your own “what if?” to their behavior,
it makes you feel really calm and superior to their nonsense.
i’m going to try this way of thinking for 2019.
you should too.