Mum always told me if i was away from anything i was drinking/eating,
throw it in the trash.
you don’t know who will try to put something in it.
the following story goes deeper into what she warned me about.
a janitor did something to a worker’s water bottle,
but she ended up getting an std from it…

Continue reading “the water that had a side of pee and an incurable std in it” →

one time when i was a baby fox,
new to america,
my late Mum’s boyfriend at the time invited us over for dinner.
that night,
he decided to impress us by cooking lobster.

I’ll never forget how traumatized I was watching that experience.

the pot was shaking and you could hear,
what sounded like,
the lobster screaming within the hot water.
i didn’t eat that night because i lost my appetite.
my empathy is set up a little differently.
so when i saw this video with crabs in an air fryer…

Continue reading “who knew crabs could be cooked… in an air fryer?” →

i’m a millennial.
i’ve been the middle child and i experienced both aspects of life.
i got to play outside before the street lights came on,
i know what going to buy a cd was,
and having a ton of dvds that have become relics of the past.
i’m not unfamiliar with “a/s/l” and how dope limewire was.
i may or may not have charged people to burn cds.
not only that…

I was lucky to see that if you weren’t talented,
you didn’t really make it past one song.

if you were really bad,
you’d get embarrassed on hot 97 or aunt wendy’s radio show.
i’m fonting that to font this…

Continue reading “SEX, SEX, SEX, PRINT SHOT, SEX, SEX, ONLYFANS PREVIEW, SEX, SEX, CUM” →

usually,
k michelle says things and i’m like:

“Um,
what?”

i saw that come down my timeline and was kinda confused.
when i hear straight folks say they are gay roles,
i’m like what does mean exactly?
like,
what do we do with this information?
when a straight male proclaims he is a “power (top) wolf“…

Continue reading “straight folks are embracing gay roles for the trend?” →

yesterday,
on my day off,
i decided i was gonna check out halloween ends.
michael myers is my fav slasher-killing demon so i was ready.
i was extra brave because i was gonna watch it at night.
so i got my spot all extra dark with my black-out curtains,
put on my noise-canceling headphones for added effect,
and got comfy in my bed.
20 minutes into the movie…

Continue reading “halloween ends very badly” →

i’ve heard interesting things from conspiracy theorists i know.
i was told if i got vaccinated,
i’ll die because the government wanted to kill us all.

“Who is paying these taxes if we all die?”

allegedly,
princess diana was killed cause she saw the royal family turn into lizards.
of course,
they have all sided with kanye.
i was told he was right that slavery was a choice.
when it came to the sandy hook elementary massacre in 2012,
i was told it never happened.
the wildest i was told?

“Kyle Rittenhouse is actually a paid actor.
He was one of the actors used in Sandy Hook.”

apparently,
they “discovered” his alleged picture was used as one of the victims.
for the record:

I never believed or thought of any of that to be true.

alex jones,
a conspiracy theorist who said similar about the sandy hook massacre,
lost his trial from being sued by the parents of the kids involved.
the amount of money that he has to pay tho…

Continue reading “the biggest conspiracy theorist of all has to pay for his words (alex jones)” →