How are you doing?

waits for you to font me how you are doing
i get it.
i totally get it.
we are living in strange times and every day,
we get a fresh headline of a new executive order or some other fuck shit.
you start thinking about your job security,
your future,
your past,
and that pesky question:

“How bad is it going to get?”

it’s making it’s way downtown and its walking fast.
i can font things will be fine but honestly:

I don’t know.
i truly don’t know.

here is the truth in full font.
ready?…

Own your shit.

i’ve been working hard to own my shit…

I don’t know how I would even feel…

if i walked into my home and saw or someone had to break the news to me…

That the partner that I prayed for…

…was dead because he decided to delete himself.
i’m a very strong and resilient person but i can’t even imagine how that would fuck me up.
i would be left with so many thoughts and questions…

I got something that I didn’t realize until yesterday when I was in sudden pain.

it all started with an itch…

How do you grieve someone you weren’t supposed to love?

I knew he was married.

I knew when I saw Hot Rod with PRK,
I felt something was off with him.

what they don’t tell you about being a porn star is…

Some folks aren’t as strong as they seem.

they don’t tell you about is the wear and tear on your body and soul.
they don’t tell you about the drugs to make it more bearable also.
many aren’t actually sex-positive or slut-strutting shame-free.
many are drowning in severe mental health issues.
like the entertainment industry,
you’re fed to the vultures once the porn industry is done with you.
a little Foxie sent me an update about hot rod,
a veteran in black gay porn.
someone spotted him at a train station in new yawk and…