i was sitting here this morning,
reflecting before i started my day over a dream i had about work wolf.
i had to answer a question during shadow work and i conjured him from the emotional dead.

It made me realize how much of a Pick-Me I use to be.

yes i was.
i was a pick-me with no boundaries who was desperately trying to get picked.
in order to find yourself,
you gotta risk embarrassment but i ain’t embarrassed.
i’ll write it in big font:

I use to be a Pick-Me!

a pick-me can look like whatever or whoever and come from any social background.
there are plenty of IG attentionistos,
some of the baddest you ever seen,
that are putting up with all kinds of shit just to be chose.
you see how many of them get caught up being thirsty for sex.
so when i see charlamagne talmbout miss lady in the “who tf did i marry” saga…

i did not sleep last night.
i had full blown nightmares after reading the following.
this is def another yearly season of the “fuck yo guts up” bug.
when we travel to work or eat out,
we enhance our chances of getting that gut fucked up.
a few people i know caught this “no sir/no ma’am” violent diarrhea bug going around..

I’m gonna give myself props.
I don’t care if you look like this tatted wolf above,
and you licked every part of my bawdy,
Ima need you to take your ass home once it’s done.
I don’t do “lets shack up and host dinner parties”.

so when i heard of folks shackin up to split bills with just anyone,
or just any random they are fuckin’ atm,
i gave that instant pause.
i couldn’t press the button fast enough.
it’s in-house penis and they help with the bills but we really don’t know people.
we learn the true characters of people once we move in with them.
like,
your whole shacker-upper could be a serial killing hyena like this jackal…

Sometimes,
I feel like I’m gonna wake up and I’m gonna be back at my mother’s crib.
She is gonna be alive because it’s gonna be 1999.
I won’t remember anything that transpired before this.
It’s all gonna be a fever dream but it’s God reset.

some black folks in the country confuse me tbh.
trump came out with the insurrection 6s and they’re targeted to black people:

trump spoke at the black conservative federation gala,
which is a contradiction all in it’s own,
and he says…

we will always have someone in our lives who is better than us.
siblings.
classmates.
the local celebrities on social media.
we will always stand in their shadows…

…but that doesn’t mean we have to do their PR either.

we should NOT be answering about anyone else but our own stuff.
this is my issue with my beautiful vixen,
kelly rowland.
during her press runs for her new movie,
“mea culpa” with fione ass trevante rhodes…

they keep asking her about whatever bey got going on.
she finally flipped her wig here…

there are times i regret my rebellious phase with my mother.
Lord,
when i think back,
i was a mess.
i remember telling her i got someone pregnant because she got me vex.
me?
someone pregnant?

i don’t think i ever fully apologized for wildin’ out.
then again…

Every teenager wanted to move out with a bunch of other teenagers,
all who weren’t working,
because they had a gigantic speaker in the living room to throw parties.

…or that might have just been me.
mo’nique legit said if she knew he would be doing tiktoks about her in the future,
she would have….