Is looking for men over rated?

I had to ask myself that question, watching yet another movie dealing with love. If I’m not seeing it, then I’m hearing it through my speakers. If that’s not it, then I’m hearing about it from friends and loved ones.

Men, men, men + love (or ones idea of bad love desicions) and wild sex mixed in.

It’s almost becoming sickening especially when you aren’t involved with anyone at the moment. Yup, Jamari is actually cruising on Drought Street. I have been on a couple dates this year and none of the potential “men” were worth a call back. It was like was dating bottom of the barrel and I am far from it. They, of course, loved me but alas – I was over it mid date.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I was a female. Had my share of men I was attracted too. They have it so easy and they should. Boy sees girl and tries to hit on girl. Boy sees me and can’t tell if I’m gay so he moves on. It seems the type of man that I am attracted too comes in a “straight” Godiva wrapper. It leaves for a lot of lonely nights and even longer days.

Searching for a Devin, Dez, Trey, or whoever makes me hard is like looking for a needle in a haystack. Let’s face it, I may never get my Devin Thomas. Or, I may get him and he be a limp dick slut bag with STDs hiding under the flap of his dick. I kinda grew into looking past femininity. Ones person’s fem maybe one man’s dream lover. Let’s face it: we are gay and even the most masculine man has a tinge of bitch in em. Ask a female!

But I am kinda over the chat sites, DL sign language, and all that bs that comes with this lifestyle.

I kind of want to concentrate on my journey to the top. I can damn near buy what I want (I’m no Steve Jobs but I do pretty well for myself)…… so money is not really an option. What I don’t have in men, I make up for in Ben Franklin. I am focused on school and my career. I have a nice place to live and I try to make sure my wardrobe is poppin’….

But I get lonely and I am starting to see so do a lot of gay men. Its either a lot of sex or a lot of loneliness. Even these negros who are in relationships are lonely. Its bullshit. Maybe if I was a wreckless whore, I would be happy… But I’m not. Thank GOD for parents who raised me right. Plus I know wreckless whores and their walls are damn near hanging down to their kneecaps (I kid, I kid). But guess what, whores of all shapes and forms get lonely too.

So is Jamari Fox over? HELL NO. I have just begun. I just think I need to focus on me and what is important (pretty much me) for right now.

So all in all, I want you to join me. I want us, you and me, to find what we are looking for and maybe find a potential man along the way. But if he doesn’t show face – we will still be okay.

Not jaded but optimistic. This is the first step in recovery.

Let’s get it.

Brought To You By The Foxberry

U walk past a group of hood dudes. A couple are staring at you under their fitteds. Blank stares. Does that mean they are gay?

I see that baller I want so badly. I listen to the gossip amongst my news flash Foxes. Rumors swirling. But does that mean he is gay?

That guy who I think checked me out at the grocery store. I caught him staring and then he looked off. Playing duck – duck – DL. Does that mean he wanted me?

Is this whole “yeah he is definitely gay” thing just something to keep us from jumping off a roof because there really isn’t that much gay people at all?

The only people I see goin on and on that someone is gay is women and gay people. Many times the woman is going on “feminine” traits and the gay dude is going on “fantasy”.

Or am I wrong?

That is something I think about, while sipping this wine tonight. I always hear gay people talking about they went down some block and such and such dude(s) stopped and was looking as he walked by. Was this just a figment of his imagination? Or was he really commanding the attention of DL dudes?

If there is so much gay dudes walking around this world today, then why are half of us single and lonely? Let’s do the Math. Let’s say that 35% of out gay people are roaming the United States today. Half of them are black so we will say 15%. Then, the rest is made up of DL and Bi dudes – then that is not a lot for us to work with. Or a really gigantic guessing game that isn’t really much fun.

I always look at dudes as I am doing my daily travels and wonder how much of these dudes checked me out and I did not notice. Or, how much of these dudes I wanted to check me out but they are straight. Because, not for nothing, many on the low dudes are not obvious with their hints and clues. Many dudes that are on the low are pretty much scared you will bust their spot. So chances of them hollering are a risk on their part.

Unless you are a queen who everyone knows gets down, then life for the rest of us is pretty much a challenge. The chat sites only offer so much and it seems like the same ol thing trying to get at you. You think you met someone that may be worth it but it was a false alarm rung way to many times.

So what are we to do? Are we doomed? Or do we just wait around, hoping and praying we catch a sign.

Let a fellow Fox know how you feel?

Brought To U By The FoxBerry

Bottoms have something in common with the average female.

Not because we have to take the dick however it is offered.
Often times,
we are in the submissive role.
Or we sometimes go through the same Waiting 2 Exhale shit.

Some of that maybe true.

But, we deal with the same things they do.
While thanking our lucky stars we do not deal with periods.

I am like a female, but still a man.

And I will explain why,
without sounding like I was snorting coke tonight…

Continue reading “Like A Girl” →

Yes, YOU.

Continue reading “Thank You.” →

It’s funny.

I am sitting here and actually fontless. Jamari Fox is at a lost for font.

I WAS tryna write a blog about a certain situation that has happened, that I wanted to share with my Foxes….. but I do not know how to start it off because I know it has come to an end. Still an open wound you could say.

Thank God for my Blackberry.

I turned off my computer, walked away, and decided to write this.

Write this little blurb to let my Foxes know that I had a good blog on the way… But the only thing I had on my screen was….

“Where do I start…?”

Hmm. I’ll have it together for tomorrow.

Continue reading “Real Talk #2” →