these days, i totally get rihanna

^that is one of my favorite rihanna tweets.
it inspires me when i’m feeling a way with people.
i have watched them all fall for hurting me too.
i feel a connection to rihanna since “pon de replay“,
which is her first single from her debut album,
music of the sun“.
i mean we come from the same island of barbados,
but it’s her defining moment that really inspires me.
i remember when she was on the way to being dropped from def jam.
everyone was hyping up teairra mari as the new r&b vixen.
i always felt people were “so/so” on rihanna back then too.
her issue is they tried to market her as an “island beyonce” so she had no identity…
yet.
i’ll never forget everything that surrounded “the incident” in 2009…

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once you get back to new yawk, you’re gonna be handcuffed until…

they aren’t playing in new yawk with the rona.
we can travel,
but as soon as we get back,
we are literally stalked by the health department and their traveler’s unit.
the pretty vixen mentioned on the podcast that she traveled to cali for thanksgiving.
the health department has been stalking her ever since she got back.
they said if she leaves her spot,
and they catch her,
she will have to pay a 10,000 fine.
so she is literally stuck in his apartment and has a trip to jamaica planned next week.
to check in on her again,
they sent her this text today…

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be happy living your double life

living a double life can be tough.
i can imagine how hard it is for spiderman.
like,
peter parker in a touch base at work and green goblin is tearing up the city.
how does he let his boss know he has to dip to live his double life?


the questions.
you gotta present yourself one way to the world,
but you’re secretly indulging in your true desires in private.
i think of the biggest issue is…

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when you get worn out and can’t leave the bed for hours.

i spent the last few days on my back.
worn out wasn’t the word.
i ended up sleeping a majority of the days.
you know how i said i had all these plans a few entries down?

Play: Zelda
Clean: My crib
Watch: “Queen’s Gambit”

well…

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HAPPY THANKFUL 4 U DAY!

i woke up feeling chill today.
i think it’s the anticipation of these holidays.
i decided to control my mind and ignore the “fear” of it all.
i woke up and decided to take another nap because why not?
blackout curtains stay keeping my room like it’s midnight at noon.
after a day of light cooking and a lot of video games,
i came to this thought about this rona thanksgiving

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when the people you fall out with match your new energy

i’ve learned that if you just detach and move on,
you’ll find your answers eventually.
yesterday,
i had a dream that i had a convo with a friend i fell out with recently.
we haven’t spoken since summer.
i told them in the dream how much they hurt me by what they did.
i woke up and went about my day.
foxhole,
why that night…

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