last night,
i decided to take a risk and watch joker 2.
the reviews slammed it so i went into it with pause.
for those two hours,
i put my phone on DND and paid attention…

Shawn Mendes admitted recently he is still trying to figure his sexuality out.

i get it.
there was a point where i was in the prison of the struggle.
in a few ways,
i still struggle.
sometimes,
i think many gay folks forget what the stuggle was/is like.
before we became “yassified” and hungry little animals for cum,
there was a fearful place of “nah i’m good” to anything remotely gay.
i’ll never forget…

Have you ever felt like being in a group made you feel even lonelier?

sometimes,
when you’re trying so hard to belong,
the only real option is to step away.
i did just that today…

in life,
positions can change.
we can go from fox to wolf,
wolf to hybrid,
or become feral power foxes who are hungry for cum.
lately,
i feel like i’ve been having changes too…

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Everyone has an opinion about King James and his son,
Bronny.

last night,
they made their debut as a father/son duo on the NBA season opener.
all of my straight friends roll their eyes when i’ve asked them about these two.
apparently to them and others on the internet,
bronny is not good at ball and should have went in another career direction.
it got me to thinking about fathers and the weight of their expectations of following in their footsteps.

My own sperm donor would’ve been over the moon if I picked up soccer or cricket,
just like he did.

the idea of me following in his toxic-masculine footsteps would’ve made him so proud.
this is the same jackal who told me that when i was a baby,
and his pack of jackals asked him if he was sure i was his,
he pulled down my diaper…

Have you ever found yourself looking back at someone you swore you were over?
Because,
well,
I did.
I shouldn’t have,
but curiosity got the best of me last night.

lately,
he’s been dominating my thoughts out of nowhere.
not just that,
but i’ve been seeing his name everywhere.
there was a time when just thinking about him would cause me pain.
my stomach would hurt and i’d feel like i’d want to vomit.
i had a hunger and craving of him filling me up.
after a friend casually mentioned him out of nowhere,
i started to wonder:

Was it all a coincidence?

so,
i went and looked…