Have you ever found yourself looking back at someone you swore you were over?
Because,
well,
I did.
I shouldn’t have,
but curiosity got the best of me last night.

lately,
he’s been dominating my thoughts out of nowhere.
not just that,
but i’ve been seeing his name everywhere.
there was a time when just thinking about him would cause me pain.
my stomach would hurt and i’d feel like i’d want to vomit.
i had a hunger and craving of him filling me up.
after a friend casually mentioned him out of nowhere,
i started to wonder:

Was it all a coincidence?

so,
i went and looked…

Last night was one of those nights where being media just hits different.

shoutout to a Foxholer for sending me the hookup to see “smile 2” early.
the timing was wild though.
i was literally just talking about the first “smile” with a friend…

…and boom,
like magic…

Would you settle for the knockoff version of something instead of the original?

earlier today,
i was at dunkin,
indulging in my usual iced coffee.
it was one of those “i deserve!” days.
while i was casually scrolling through my phone,
i heard this deep and low voice behind me.

“Can you add caramel to this coffee,
please?”

it sounded like work wolf…

I had to wonder:
Have you ever noticed how sometimes,
the storms in our lives feel bigger and scarier than they actually turn out to be?

last week,
i found myself in a spiraling of worry.
i was crazy anxious about karaoke,
a few friends,
and some Foxholers living in tampa, florida.
all of them in the direct path of hurricane milton.
the panic only deepened after hearing a government official’s stern warning:

“Leave or y’all gonna die!”

while some friends and Foxholers were in full blown panic,
i called karaoke,
bracing myself for the worst.
to my surprise…

What happens when you realize you’ve been the superhero in everyone else’s story,
yet your own plot feels a little…
un-heroic?

i made a mistake.
a big one.
after days of feeling so low,
it hit me like a lightning bolt…

Have you ever felt at your wits end?

life suddenly became too much to handle,
you felt like you were on auto pilot,
and nothing was making you excited about life anymore.
i’ve been feeling like my energy had ghosted me.
i just felt tired about everything and everyone tbh.
it was like being a clown working overtime at the circus.
i was exhausted and still juggling it all because i balance two lives:

My IRL self
My Foxhole self

my entire being has rsvp’d “yes” to an emotional breakdown.
why aren’t we fontin’ more about burnout?
it’s like we’re conditioned for one thing:

Grind
Grind
Grind

…and then,
when the weekend rolls around:

Events
Errands
Everything but recharge

i’ve been battling burnout hard these past two years,
and while i’m no expert,
here’s what i’m learning as i try to figure it out…