for the last couple of days,
i decided to take a sabbatical.
it was a time when a fox has to hibernate to recharge his inner batteries.
i spent it catching up on sleep,
eating greasy food,
jackin’ off,
and watching one of my comfort shows,
sex and the city.
sex and the city was part of my gay awakening as a young fox.
i related with carrie because i was dealing with my own “mr. big” too.
the first wolf who slyly showed me his interest within his uncertain curiosity.
a wolf that if he hit me up today,
i’d drop what i was doing to go another round of uncertain curiosity again.
i’m up to the second season and i realized something…

The Foxhole has been wanting me to address this.
I’ve been very “eye roll” about it but ya know what?
Fuck it; we ball.

i’ve been playing video games ever since i was a kid.
i’ve noticed it taught me a lot of skills that i’ve applied in my real life.

Solving puzzles
Multi-tasking
Exploring
“There is a secret in here somewhere”
Defeating final bosses flawlessly

my virgo moon goes a little too OD tho.
as an adult,
when i want to step away from the real world and go to hyrule,
the mushroom kingdom,
doing gens to escape in dead by daylight,
or dodge tom nook for them bells i owe him,
i’ll take a break with one of my video game systems.
funky dineva doesn’t think that grown males should be play video games.
he nor his friends play video games at their big ages:

😒😒😒😒😒 pic.twitter.com/8gxOyLUy3g

— 🗣️The Milky Way Hoodrat♐️🔥 (@JustinUrameshi1) April 26, 2024

hmm.
funky dineva also made a career as a grown man gossiping.
his life choices can be called into question too.
so i’ll font my quick thoughts about it…

Picture this: In a forest of gay culture,
there is a belief that being a wolf (top) automatically puts you at the top (pun intended?) of the food chain...

…but dare to entertain the thought of being a fox (bottom),
and suddenly you’re simply seen as an entree.
it’s not just the gay community either;
even the straights won’t give you a nod of acceptance unless you’re the one dominantly slaying hole.

Enter J.P,
the rapping wolf with an edit to a past narrative in his recent scandal of being with another male.

on a podcast with some straights,
he found himself having to clarify his default favorite position.
in a forest where dominance is currency,
does being anything less mean you’re nothing more?…

Let’s take a trip back right quick.

from a young age,
i knew that i was attracted to other males.
i guess i can say i was born that way.
i don’t recall being molested to trigger my attraction but who knows?
growing up on a small island,
being gay was a scary thing because you could be beaten and hanged.
like,
they would publicly beat criminals with the cat o’ nine tails.
it was also associated with mentally ill people who cross dressed and raped little boys.
so i’m confused and scared that is what i’d be associated as.
now that i’m in healing mode,
i see that…

…there was a Fox who thought he was the most invisible guy in the forests.

“If I’m supposedly attractive,
why am I not being treated that way?” he’d ask his late friend,
Star Fox.

Star Fox would notice wolves checking him out but for some reason,
the Fox never saw it for himself.
he would go out and feel lost in the forest of indifference.
it echoed the loneliness of his youth,
where he felt unseen and insignificant.
but then in 2020,
a turning point in his life happened…

I’m sitting here,
crying,
and i don’t know why.
It might be the energy of the day or morning.
i dunno.