i had no business looking at these bey tour videos today

one of my biggest issues in life is feeling fomo.
it stems from my childhood.
being last to be picked in gym class,
not feeling noticed by my family,
and just never feeling like i belong or accepted anywhere.

FOMO or Fear of missing out feels like you are missing something that will make you feel like you belong or are complete.

…but do we really feel complete if we are still feeling empty inside?
i cannot afford bey this year.
she got cut for other priorities i got going on.
i’m in that weird “in between blessings” transition period.
i really wanted to go and when i saw all of these videos on twitter

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we were drafted into a war and didn’t even realize it

black males vs black vixens vs blac gays vs black trans
democrats vs republicans
the far left vs the far right
the incels vs everyone
lgbtq+ vs everyone+
straight white males vs common sense of those underneath
nicki stans vs cardi stans
some of you vs some of me
everything and everyone vs everything and everyone

 

it’s like everyone is fuckin’ angry or jaded all the time.
there has been a war happening within the united states.
the entire country is divided and those who aren’t,
well,
they are sitting back on social media watching this all play out.
many are egging it on and want to see the world burn.
i’ve been thinking about the current state of things and i’m wondering…

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lil nas x is showing us that we don’t much excuses anymore

regardless of what you think of lil nas x,
one thing is for certain is that he is iconic.
many of us love to say that being black and gay holds us back.
we need to change our thinking.
i’m here to font that only we are holding ourselves back.
lil nas x celebrated his birthday the other day with a photo shoot.
hbd lnx btw!
this is how many likes he got on his post…

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all the guys love f*ckin’ jeffree star

i have no doubt in my mind straight males are messing with jeffree star.
why would you be shocked?
he bagged ( x that one wolf ) that had no issues being spotted with him.
jeffree recently admitted he hooked up with a popular rapper.
a grammy award rapping wolf at that…

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aaron carter’s death has me thinking about the troubled people in our own lives

 aaron carter‘s death had me thinking last night.
first off,
i remember when he came out with music.
i wasn’t into boybands but i knew he was nick carter from bsb’s brother:

 

at that time,
the siblings of stars were trying to get put on too.
he was troubled for quite some time.
the last i saw is that he had an onlyans and it was pretty awful.
he seemed to have been carrying something heavy for him to be like that.
the thing is…

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am i the type that likes to be surprised with flowers? (i might?)

i’m a lowkey romantic at heart.
don’t tell everyone or make a gay parade out of it.
i try to keep it on the low.
i’ll be honest

I’d fall out if my manz surprised me with flowers

that probably sounded gay af but whatever.
i don’t demand flowers but if i got them,
that would make me really happy.
i really like how russell wilson surprised ciara with flowers on his ig…

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