i did something bad.
i’ve started to put “me” first…
so i got my yearly review recently.
i got a b+.
my boss told me how everyone loves me and i’m a valuable asset.
i got great scores on:
…buuuuuuuuuuuut i got a “d” on my attendance.
i told him i’d correct it,
but survey says:
That’s a lie
i called out today.
i woke up feeling drained and out of it.
yesterday wasn’t a good day and i was feeling the effects of it.
something inside me told me to take a “me” day.
i was battling inside between:
“what will they say?”
“what do i want?”
after i sent the email to my boss and liar liar,
i still jumped in the shower.
when i got out,
i saw that “okay feel better” on my screen.
i turned my light off and went back to bed.
can i be all the way honest with the foxhole?
if they were to let me go,
i wouldn’t feel bad about it.
i am comfortable there and would feel the “oh god”,
but i’m really tired of that place.
my anxiety has gotten worse.
i have started throwing up at the slightest nervousness.
many times i have to run to the bathroom to gag.
i am definitely stressed out.
i know i shouldn’t feel this way,
seeing as how i have a job,
but i had to be honest to you about my real feelings.
i really enjoy my time away when i’m not there.
it’s funny how we can hide things so well in public.
no one would even know this is going on with me there.
thank you for listening.
lowkey: i’ve more energy today than i’ve had in a while.
i needed this “me” day for my sanity alone.
i don’t even want to go in tomorrow.