i don’t think people realize that even though we were on lockdown for our safety,
many of us aren’t talking about the mental illnesses that riled up within us.
i know for me,
i had quite a few positives being on quarantine.
my creative energy surged with the foxhole,
my skincare got in order,
i released a shit ton of sexual energy,
and i got more sleep than i could ask for.
on the downside tho,
my anxiety seems to have gotten worst than it already was.
there is something else that i was talking to a friend about and they agreed heavy…

diva,
who was always out and about before the panini,
told me how she went out the other day and felt so awkward.
she was at an illegal party in bk and being around everyone felt weird.
she said her social skills were a mess and she was in her head the whole time.
that is not like her.
as much as she was excited to be out in the forests again,
it felt really different to be back around people.

this seems to be something many are starting to talk about.
they are suffering from what i like to call:

Post-Lockdown Anxiety

we got so used to being in our cribs for a whole year,
that to transition back into the public is gonna take some work.

many of us gained hella weight,
got lazy with our personal style,
and immersed ourselves in being inside.
i haven’t wore jeans since around this time last year.
getting on the mta is gonna feel like i’m going to the center of the earth.
its gonna be a huge transition.

It’s okay because you’re not alone…

…but it’s quite difficult to get comfortable back in the public again.
even though cities are slowly opening up,
many of us are closed off from getting back out there again.
not only that,
this lockdown awakened personal demons in us that we tried to ignore.

if this resonates with you,
know that you aren’t alone.
even though i feel good on the outside,
i have this weird anxious fear within me on the inside.
it has me not wanting to look at social media because i’m suffering from fomo and insecurities.
i can’t explain it tbh.
i made me wonder about the long-term effects of this rona…

What did this lockdown really do to some of us?

lowkey: my tolerance for people is very low now.