“ive been gong through alot”
thats what work wolf texted me this afternoon.
a side of me didn’t want to answer.
i did and i responded…
“whats been up?”
“a lot of shit.”
he has been working long hours.
this project has been wearing him out along other personal issues.
“i saw you the other day and you ignored the fuck outta me lol
i was like damn let me back up.”
“nah”
so we were talking and the he said:
“i missed you”
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…like how do you reply to that?
if he was confirmed “bae”,
i would have responded something flirty.
or nasty.
“ratchet jamari” has no filter.
i had to remember this is a “straight” wolf.
so i said:
“aww work wolf me 2!”
…and things went about as “kinda” normal again.
he really emphasized that he missed texting me.
well it was his fault.
he was kinda distant in the text convo.
i tried to cheer him up the best wat i could.
he told me that he wasn’t in the mood.
i could tell.
“i don’t like when you are like this!”
“i just want to go home.
i’m tired.”
i decided to let him have his space.
no need in forcing conversation when someone isn’t into it.
when i left,
i went downstairs to see him.
he looked pissT.
he didn’t have that “look” he usually has.
he looked over everything.
i told him bye and left.
we’ll talk tomorrow?
lowkey: i think i’ll let him hit me up.
Have you ever tried to sit him down and express you’re concerned when he gets this way? Maybe it can be used as an opportunity to uncover a deeper isue. He seems like something is weighing heavy on his mind
The down side to him associating you with the characteristics of a woman.
Whether that’s a good thing or bad thing doesn’t matter. It just is.
We all have to be accountable for how we allow people to treat us and explore how this shapes all of the relationships in our lives.
J, you come off a little needy or thirsty. You gotta take control dude. When he said, “I miss you,” your reply should have been something like, “Right on. I’m good man.” Keep it short. Pretend uninterested. Less thirsty. Turn off the female side for a minute. Do something he wouldn’t expect from you. Get out of your feelings.
^at the end of the day,
he is still straight.
he is a friend.
i’m going to act with him how i act with all my friends.
when i don’t reply to my texts,
he definitely lets me know.
i get in my feelings on my site where i can express myself and vent.
don’t confuse the 2 z.
I don’t like the idea of “pretending to be uninterested” or pretending anything. Too many games. Just do what comes naturally and be yourself. Keep things simple.
I don’t see what was thirsty about his response. The dude says “I missed you” lol. If anyone was being thirsty/”feminine” it was work wolf lol
My ex used to do shit like this all the time and I absolutely hated it. It kinda feels like they’re taking their frustration out on you and not the people they should actually be upset with. Then you are left looking stupid wondering if you did anything wrong, then you are mad at them because you think they’re mad at you, etc. Lol. It’s like one big confusing cycle.
^YES!
it felt like that king!
That was your questions to invite him over to “talk”
I meant that was your opportunity to invite him over to talk
^we are hanging out next week.
You’re doing the right thing Jamari. Make him hit you up. I’ve been enjoying your posts the last few days. It really shows up in your work when he isn’t around. I guarantee if you give him the same treatment he gave you this past week, you’re gonna see a different side of him.
Sidenote: what straight dude texts another dude “I miss you?” *red flag* Play the game J. Keep your kool.
^if he didn’t hit me up today,
i would have went about my business with no issue.
he chases me more than i do him.
that “i miss you” thing had me like “whoa”.
he also said things to show he missed me and if i missed him.
it was weird.
he is weird.
yet will talk about some chick in the next breath.
i just go with the flow and whatever direction he goes,
i follow at this point.
Awwwww I hope he’s able to get through whatever he’s going through, I kinda wish he would have leaned on you more in these times but I guess people deal with things differently. Your friendship with him just keeps getting deeper and deeper, at this point it feels like a a crazy force. I really hope the wolf of your dreams pops up to sweep you off your feet, you deserve it.
^i saw this wolf coming to my crib mikey…
omg…
he was fine and his bawdy was a work of art.
we locked eyes for a second or two…
i would have fucked him this weekend.
#ratchtjamariconfessions
See this is y i say this shit aint all your fault. Everybody xan ignore it but he said i missed u. Fuck the if ands or maybe. Dont no str8 dude tell another dude that shit, especially one who he knows is gay and likes him. Friends or not niggas dont do that unless thur is something else. Jamari u know u not crazy. I say just play it cool. Its clear that when u are forthcoming and taking charge he gets scared. Idk. He is sumthin else.
^i have come to the conclusion if he is,
he isn’t ready yet.
he may or may not ever be ready.
im starting to wonder if this is an emotional relationship.
im glad he responded to u! he genuinely care about you and miss your friendship ! this definitely not a normal friendship! Whatever normal is now adays but its great that he care about u! In my opinion too many mix signal or just being to emotional about! ITs good to see Black men care about one another w/o it always being about SEX all the time! We are good for other things as well! lol
^i like this comment t.
very positive and optimistic.
I am glad you let him contact you.I am going to be honest I have NEVER had a platonic friend tell me, “I missed you” in that context.But then again I am a phone person, not a texting person.So saying “I missed you” is different than texting , “I missed you”.With texting you cant hear the tone of the speaker.This is why I rarely text:)
^i completely agree yc.
Why did a whole thug tear trickle down the side of my face when he said, “I missed you”? The whole reason I’ve been following this “work wolf” story is because he reminds me of my trade piece in college. He played football for our university, so he was crazy DL. I lowkey loved his ass, and would have wanted to hear those words from his lips so badly. Things are different outside of just a text.
Work wolf cares about you so genuinely. I wish I could see into the future just so I could give you some vision as to how you two will end. I’m so invested. 🙂
^shit your story made me tear up.
I hate that we meet these great wolves…
and its not possible at that time… or ever.
so we spend days getting attached and feelings get involved.
smh.
Exactly. He got drafted this past season, and my ratchet-ass friends keep telling me to exploit him for money, and I’m over here like [insert Nick Young meme], “…but I love his ass.”
They have no idea what it feels like to have that instinct in the back of your mind that a “straight” guy that you’ve been intimate with for a year and a half is feeling you, but is too afraid to say it. #ICant
^dont exploit him.
do NOT be one of “them”.
not the foxhole way d.
Told you that you were overthinking bro. I knew it.
^how he did it tho…
not cool.
It may not have been cool but atleast it’s a relief to know it had nothing to do with u
He will talk to u when he ready.
^yeah.
when he has these moments,
ill back up.
That’s just how some people are, J. They don’t know how to compartmentalize, and it allows for frustration and non-communication to take over. He needs an outlet and if you’re as good friends as he says you are, he needs to be able to open up and communicate…especially with his homie! That’s the one thing I miss most about my best friend…being able to talk to someone. It’s was open and honest communication, not feeling like you were being judged, which is how I felt sometimes talking with other “friends” and family. So my best conversations were the conversations held with him. Man I miss that dude so much.
When you get back to that space again, let him know that you’ll be his ears if needs someone to talk to…and that you’ll indeed be there for him because that what friends do for one another. And tell him not to keep things bottled up…it’s a surefire recipe for disaster because he can end up lashing out unexpectedly.
^thanks c.
i want to actually have a good talk with him.