valentine’s day.
the straight couple’s holiday?
shit i don’t even know if that’s even true anymore.
i just saw a sista in the supermarket buying about 2 tubs of ben and jerrys.
remember when you were a young cub and it actually meant something?
ycolor a heart shaped piece of paper and give it to the girl sitting a couple of rows from you.
maybe you were a playa playyyaaaa and had a chick in another class.
i see you….

Continue reading “Nothing Good Happens After 4 A.M on Valentine’s Day” →

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari.

First I have to say I love your site and you have definitely made a huge impact in my life as a discreet “fox”. I wanted to share the Valentine’s Day letter I’m sending to my new boyfriend, who happens to be a hybrid. Check the letter out and tell me what you think!

It’s a rare and beautiful feeling when you meet someone who just allows you to be yourself. We are judged and sized-up by the world all the time, so to find a bit of respite is something I promised myself to cherish whenever it came. Enter you. I was trying to think of how I wanted to write this letter; I wracked my brain trying to figure out the best format, the wittiest jokes, the sexiest innuendos. Then it dawned on me what makes our bond of friendship and the relationship we are weaving and strengthening so amazing is that it is easy and simple and pure. So I’ve just been writing, trusting that what is on this screen will convey everything I need to.

There’s a Jill Scott song that plays in my mind almost everytime I think of you and our talks.The lyrics of the first verse sum it up nicely. She sings “I like that I can talk to you and you seem to enjoy it. I like that I can tell you exactly how I feel. I like that you don’t look at me that confused kind of way when the thoughts are just running through my mind and I can’t seem find the right words to say…” Naturally, the song is entitled “Easy Conversation” and I think that’s an accurate comparison to what we have. I’m grateful for it. I’ve forced it so many times, reaching, no, grasping, for something like that. Trying to force that which should just come naturally and evolve organically. The irony, right? But you make it easy. I don’t feel like I have to reach or pull. For that, I thank you.

I think you are amazing and I know I’ve told you that. But, I don’t think the truth ever gets old. You are amazing. You make me laugh, you break my heart (in a good way), you make me comfortable, you make me nervous (also in a good way.) You challenge me to be authentic and open. You allow me to embrace every part of my being without shame or fear. Simply amazing, you are, and I’m so glad to have met you. I’m not the clairvoyant one out of the two of us; I can only tell what is. And what is is something special and unique to me and I am honored to be cultivating that with you. I don’t know what may happen next, but I am excited and hopeful for the journey and all that it brings.

Thank you for trusting me with your past. I know it was hard for you. Thank you for letting me trust you with mine. It is just as hard for me. But you see me as a person, as a man, and not as some broken or fragile thing. And I see you as a person, and as a man, and not as some broken and pitiable thing. We are both delicate;we’re human, but it seems we’ve been able to connect on that all too human, but spiritual level and I like that. So, to my first Valentine, thank you for being you and I look forward to our future (mis)adventures together. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll get to curl up in the bed  while I’m reading some ridiculously long novel and you’re playing your PSP comparing the notes of the day and laughing at how the rest of the world isn’t lucky enough to to “get it.”

MY ANSWER…

Continue reading “f0xmail: I Want To Share The Valentine’s Day Letter I’m Sending To My Hybrid!.” →