I’ve had beef with God for a minute.

okay,
maybe more than a minute.
like,
a solid two-year feud.
blame it on what the church villagers were telling me:

“God is testing you.”
“God gives you what you can handle.”
“God’s just seeing if you’re worthy of a breakthrough.”

sure,
it sounds poetic,
but it felt like spiritual gaslighting.

Why would a loving God dish out trauma like it’s a rite of passage?
Why the hoops?
Why the pain?

if i’ve already proven myself,
why keep testing me?
it felt like cosmic abuse with only my name on it.
i was ready to give up on God because i’ve seen tired.
i’ve been stuck in this loop,
playing by the rules,
yet running in circles.
this past sunday,
sarah jakes-roberts dropped a gem in her sermon that hit me like a plot twist…

lady gaga was running around here saying in every interview:

‘There can be 100 people in a room and 99 of them don’t believe in you but all it takes is one and it just changes your whole life…”

jamari fox is going around here saying:

“There can be 100 straight males in a crew and 99 of them are straight but one of them mofos is gay and wants you to change his whole life….”

that has been my experience.
there is usually one dl mofo in that crew of straights.
as you know,
boosie is anti-gay and has expressed that many times.
allegedly tho,
one of his closest who goes by “smoke” might be everything he hates?

allegedly,
his long-time vixen decided to spill a little something for us…

Continue reading “when you find out the homophobic one had a dl male in the crew this whole time” →

i woke up today with the idea of being productive but instead,
i’ve been filled with anxiety.
the day when i should have drank tea instead of coffee.
we are living in a real-life dune atm.
i’m legit waiting for the monsters to show up tbh.
canada had some destructive wildfires and all the smoke came to us.
how can you not feel anxiety about seeing this…

Continue reading “when i woke up today, i didn’t think i’d be an extra in dune” →

i swear i didn’t smoke any weed tonight.
the last time i got high,
it was pretty fuckin’ horrible.
it was at my old job before going to a birthday party.
i smoked because i wanted to let loose and be in the moment.
mentally,
i thought i was good.
unfortunately,
like many times before…

Continue reading “why does weed effect me differently than most people? (a random ass thought)” →

…and folks wonder why i think some don’t need cubs.
i’m glad we can all come together because of social media.
i love seeing videos of folks letting us in and seeing how they live.
the following video had me shaking my head tho.
like…
i’m at a loss for font.
i think it’s the first time in a long time that has happened.
it’s an alleged mother(?) having her cubs smoke weed.
just look at this shit…
Continue reading “I Just Wanted To Do Hoodrat Shit With My Friends (87)” →

i remember the first time i got high.
i was still in my teens.
either way,
i was sitting in a car with my home-wolf at the time.
we smoked some weed that got us both stupid high.
he didn’t even go easy on me.
i remember the leaves on the trees looking like butt cheeks.
they all looked like some plump little butt cheeks.
i told my home-wolf and he fell out laughing because he was thinking the same thing.
i also wasn’t the president’s cub either.
the big news story today is malia obama allegedly smoking weed at a recent concert.
this is the video…
Continue reading “I Wonder If Malia Obama Was Allegedly Smokin’ That Loud?” →