the fear of rejection.

this morning at around 4 am,
while i was up due to anxiety,
i asked myself:

“Why are you scared of rejection?”

…because tbh,
the facts are,
my whole life has been constant rejection…

Continue reading “while you were sleeping, i was dealing with rejection” →

what i thought was a storm ended up not being one?
there was a point last year that i didn’t want to write anymore.
there was times i’d take 2 or 3 days from updating the foxhole.
i was tired,
stressed out,
depressed,
filled with anxiety,
and falling victim to the mixed signals of other males.
i wanna font about redirection today.
we might go kicking and screaming out of our comfort zones,
but it’s often times a blessing you don’t see yet.
let’s go back to janurary of this year…

Continue reading “foxhole: a rejection is a redirection (say it again and again)” →

everyone has been rejected once,
twice,
maybe even three times.
life comes with many forms of rejection.
that job we want that they give someone less qualified.
the love we want from our parents only to be given to the “bad” sibling.
and then there is the rejection that comes with dating.
that ones seems like the worse one of them all.
many online communities dedicated to low self worth over being turned down.
its usually not just anyone.
its that “guy”.
that “wolf”.
the one that was “perfect”.
rejection does sting and you can’t deny it doesn’t.
so i had to wonder…

Why is rejection worse when its someone we actually like?
Continue reading “I Don’t Want Your Fine Ass (Rejection)” →

rejection is like the “don’t ask; don’t tell” policy.

the world will have you believing people have never gotten rejected.
they always get the guy… or girl.
they are masters of this thing called the love universe.
i’m here to tell you that is complete bullshit.
everyone at one point in their life has gotten rejected.
it can be a blow to the ego because in life we are told we can get anything we want.
“go after it and it is yours!”.
the ol team spirit routine!
sure that can happen with material things and a lifestyle,
but when it comes to another human with conflicting emotions as yourself,
that rule completely goes out the window.
i was thinking about rejection today and i had to ask…

Why does rejection fuckin’ hurt so bad?

Continue reading “CTRL-ALT-REJECT” →

I think I am a good person.

Well, scratch that “think”. I know I am a good person. Yet, you can think you are the best man in the entire world and when one person thinks not, you are ready to question your entire being. Why is that? Do we really need validation from everyone to prove we are good, sexy, and everything positive?

So, at work, one of the girls who has a crush on me decided she wanted to add me to a very popular social site. She forwarded all the other co workers who are on the same site to me, including this sexy ass dude who works in our department.

Foxes – he is sexy. Light skinned, tall, muscular, nice hair, did I mention muscular – all around “Wolf” material. Granted, he is straight until proven gay/bi but I wanted to get to know him on a friend like level, even if he is 100% straight. I like to know a lot of various contacts. Straight, gay, bi – whatever. I am down for friends/associates.

I did notice however that when we would be in contact with each other, he would be very distant from me. He would be quiet and not really as open as my other co workers. He would give slight head nods and not look me in my eyes. First sign.

So when I got the forward and saw his name, I instantly added him. No question. All the females added me, almost that day. He didn’t. As days went on, no “accept request” was sent to my email and I got the hint he wasn’t interested in pursuing a friendship with me.

It hurt a little. I mean, I think I am a damn good friend and have had straight boys be cool with me. I started to question who I was, my masculinity, and even my aura. It fucked with my mind for a while. It didn’t help that when I did see him on the job, he became even more distant…. In those tight muscule hugging shirts he wore.

Sorry…. Back on topic….

Anyway, I had to ask myself what were the reasons he didn’t add me. That’s just it: I don’t know. I have a totally different swagger than him so maybe he caught that and decided to not pursue anything. He is definitely not a “pretty” type of dude. He is typical average good looking guy.

Either way, we will NOT be cool.

I did want to sample the meat though. He may have had a small penis or a bad stroke – plus I think he is fucking one of the females at work and I have a sneaky suspicion it is our boss.

Life will go on and I learned my lesson.: never question who you are when rejected. This will all be a memory pretty soon. Move on to the next one who will accept.

Later Foxes

Brought 2 u on the Foxberry