i usually keep it lowkey but today?
i’m claiming my happiness.
for years,
i felt like an outsider looking in,
surrounded by my straight peers/associates,
always questioning where i stood.
picking up pom poms to cheer many of them on but when it came to me,
i barely got the same energy that i needed.
i won’t lie but it always hurt my feelings because it made me feel used.
i’ve come to learn…

i’m outside and it’s cold.
the wind burns my flesh as it blows against my skin.
even with thick fur covering my body,
it still feels like a knife slicing each part of me.
it hurts.
it’s a feeling that can’t be explained,
but i’ve experienced it time and time again.
as i watch the other animals playing beyond the fence,
the coldness comes from the dim feeling of being uninvited.
i’m on the outside.
my fur isn’t shiny nor do i have connections to other forests that are unknown.
all i ever wanted as to feel wanted.
admired.
respected.
loved.
something.
i’m not like everyone else and i’m not for everyone.
life has made that painfully clear at times.
i don’t follow the herd mentality that the other animals fall victim too.
maybe they aren’t victims?
maybe this is just where they want to be and i’m not allowed.
i’m outside and it’s cold.

——-
being on the outside,
while you watch others on the inside,
can feel like being in a cold prison cell.
you’re inside while everyone is out there moving freely without you.
it can be a tough lesson in where you stand amongst your peers.
sometimes it’s out of spite; others it’s no fault of their own.
i wrote on the foxhole ig the other day…

Continue reading “i’m outside and it’s cold” →

i’m at this point where if folks want to go outside during a pandemic,
then we must let them.
i heard they were outside in droves in prospect park in bk yesterday.
many were day drinking in the park,
no masks on,
and no social distancing either.
jamari fox won’t be attending,
but thank you.
some white folks have made their signs and are standing outside with no masks on,
protesting their right to be outside.
we have been under quarantine for the last two months and looking like longer.
personally,
i’ve been my most busiest and have adjusted to this new way of life.
since states have opened up,
there has been a bump in new cases and deaths all across the country.
this is what i read via “business insider“…
Continue reading “if ya’ll want to go outside, then you must go outside” →

today was the day i busted out of house arrest and outside.
i haven’t been outside in damn near 2 weeks.
it had to be the day because i was running out of juice.
hell,
my snacks and other essentials were all gone as well.

I had to go the store

…but i had no gloves or a mask to protect me,
which had me shook af…

Continue reading “wrapped up and busted outside” →

you know…
i’m all about doing hoodrat shit for the wolves to notice.
well somethings…
when you outside on a chair smashin’ a dildo tho…
well that is the following video.
this is…

nsfw
18^
for for the straights unless curious

ready?
okay…
Continue reading “I Just Wanted To Do Hoodrat Shit With My Friends (43)” →