“i was a hot ass mess.”
thats what i was telling myself just now on the couch as looked out the window…
mi was sitting at the table and playing some light ratchet music from her phone.
she is also in her feels about her life as well.
i was reflecting while drinking some mint tea.
this must be the “house of feels” today.
for me,
i was thinking about to the last couple months.
how much my health went from “normal” to “PINEAPPLE WTF IS HAPPENING?”.
how obsessed i became over a wolf i wanted.
still am,
but kinda not.
i feel sorta different these days.
better.
ever since i started taking the cod liver oil pills,
my hair was gotten much thicker and fuller.
i felt like my hair grew in a damn week.
people have been noticing and complimenting me on it.
black vixens who saw my thinning hair before are asking what i’m using.
the multivitamins have protected me around all these sick people.
plus they have made me feel more “alive”.
my weight…
well i can’t tell if i’m gaining it back or not.
i still look smaller in my eyes,
but at least my underwear feels tighter on me again.
my pants,
not so much,
but its getting there.
slowly.
i wanted to go sign up for the gym today but the way how my money is set up…
i decided that i have to work what i got for right now.
thank god i dress well so people are distracted by that.
its true when they say people only know what you tell them.
i keep a confident disposition even when i’m breaking.
i only reveal it to the homies and the foxhole.
no one knows how much i broke these last few months.
how i would come home and cry
how i would go throw up like it was nothing
how i would stop having an appetite
how i would go a day or two without eating
how i wanted so bad to give up
i had to reflect on how bad its been for this fox.
now its time to set up how good its going to get.
Yo, you need to see someone for depression. You seem to have the classic signs. Please consider bruh!
Thanks for always being inspiring. I am reading the 48 Laws of Power, which I would encourage everyone to read especially Chapter 25: Transforming Yourself.
The chase for the quality wolf is important in this lifestyle. My friend told me last night that I have laid up with some fine but sorry dudes( jackals mostly but one hyena) but they all ain’t about nothing.
I decided to get me together financially, emotionally, and physically to attract that proper, fine ass hell wolf. Though everyone is telling you to leave Work Wolf alone, I say PURSUE so that if it doesn’t work at least you motivated to be your best and you not what type you want.
There’s a light on the other side of the tunnel Jamari just remember that. Sending positive vibes your way!
^thanks mikey!
Stop for a moment and reflect on everything you want. Then “speak it into existence.” It worked for me and I know it can work for you.
^im taking a quick break so im going to try this now.
thanks no!
Jamari keep the faith! You will be just fine!
^thanks cm.
Jamari, you will be aight man. Just try and occupy your mind with other things.
^ the foxhole is my top priority these days.
everything else brings stress or “what if”.
at lease over there,
I am in control of my destiny.