one day soon,
people will tell everyone about how they know me.
they’ll shout to the mountaintops:

“I KNEW JAMARI WAY BACK WHEN!
HE WAS SO GREAT!
HE WAS SO KIND TO ME!”

… even those who hurt me will tell a different story.
they might tell the same story including the ones i may have hurt too.

Making all those within The Foxhole proud would mean so much to me tho.

you guys have honestly seen a more real side to me than folks i know irl.
so for you all to witness my success would be awesome.
jonathan majors is hitting his stride and for good reason.
tam’ron hall brought him back to a time when he was a star in the making.
someone from his past joined in that knew he was destined to make it…

Continue reading “one day soon, they’ll make it a mission to tell everyone how they know/knew me” →

Ugly.
Lanky.
Awkward.
“A Girl” aka Not Like The Other Boys

that’s how i used to view myself.
anytime i got high,
that is the fox i saw in my mind.
i would associate myself with how they spoke of “bullers” in barbados.
( x what a buller is )

*These males that dl males crept into their backdoors secretly to fuck.
*The ones that would be ignored and shamed in public.
*Some dressed up in drag and were labeled crazy.

i was scared to be myself because this is how i felt i was viewed.
it made me super self-conscious and living in my head all the time.
“is this why many of them kept me as a secret?”
“why they didn’t want people to know we were friends/close?”
i’m sure it was true to some but that wasn’t the reality for all.
i asked myself a question while on my day off yesterday…

Continue reading ““they don’t like you because you’re ugly, gay, and possibly do drag.”” →

my therapist asked me something yesterday that i’m still thinking about.
it’s interesting how a simple mind trick could possibly change your life.
so during our session,
she posed this question to me…

Continue reading “what would an evolved you with no trauma or hurt be like right now?” →

Why are you with her?

you look like you’d be happier with another male.
your pictures with other males,
compared to the ones you take with her,
are always night and day.
in some cases,
you look like you are single.
every time you take a picture with her tho,
it looks like you are being held at gunpoint.
the misery on your face can’t be ignored.
i mean,
she looks thrilled in each photo.
in some cases,
they know the truth but they’re just happy to have a man.
i was once like you,
ya know…

Continue reading “why are you dating her when you’d rather be with another man?” →

season finales.
when a good tv show ends,
the season finale is usually poppin’.
it ends on a note that has us like:

“WTF IS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT SEASON?”

it’s friendships having rough patches,
someone cheating,
or a main character getting killed off.
so next season,
we will be invested in where the remaining characters go with the storyline.

Since we are stars in our own stories,
it left me to wonder…

Continue reading “everyone loves a good season finale” →