a breakup
a job loss
rejection
the death of someone close to us
setbacks that make us question our path
being ostracized from people we thought were our friends/family
struggling to accept not being straight
being violated and no one wants to listen or believe you/sides with the abuser

all these unwelcome guests can open the door to depression.
one moment…

when you share a deep and profound connection with someone,
it’s like your souls are intertwined forever.
you feel each other even when you’re miles apart or not speaking anymore.
when you think of someone and they reach out to you out the blue,
they were on the same spiritual wave as you.
even when someone randomly crosses your mind and you get stupid horny.
they were thinking of you sexually,
or thinking of you while they were having sex with someone else.
they call that remote seduction.

I believe that’s called a soul tie.

even when they’re no longer with us in the physical realm,
the connection remains,
although in a different form.

amidst all the chaos in my life,
i’ve been grappling with a deep and unexplained sadness.
sure,
it’s partly due to feeling overwhelmed and just done with it all,
but there was something more that i couldn’t explain.

And then it hit me like a ton of breaks…

I knew an older gay male like this.

at his big age,
he is still struggling with his sexuality but he is a sucker for younger and attractive males.
i blame his church upbringing for hiding his true desires.
either way,
he gives these younger males money or a place to stay.

He only likes you if you are in need and he can be in control.
He doesn’t attract males who have their shit together and don’t need him.

many of these males have been to jail but using him for his kindness.
he let one stay the night at his spot only to be awakened by the jackal fuckin’ some hoe in his crib.

…but gonna highlight how he saw his dick and it was big.

he was all upset about it but i couldn’t help but judge.
now i don’t know if tyrone swinton (above) was gay but his story reminded me of the person i know.
tyrone lost his life trying to help someone who is troubled…

i am still blown away at chandler bing,
aka,
matthew perry‘s untimely passing.
i still feel like i’m dreaming.
i know watching friends is a touchy subject for many black folks but fuck it:

I loved Friends and he was one of my favorite characters on that show.

like certain artists albums,
that show got me through some hard times.
my cousin politely let me know i’ve become more like monica as i grow up.

i’ll accept it cause its true.
i heard about matthew’s troubles when he was alive.
due to just not wanting to know,
i didn’t do much of deep dive.
i chose to keep him in my happy place.
after he passed,
i ended up watching his interview with diana sawyer and…

Continue reading “i did not know chandler bing aka matthew perry was struggling like this” →

i really rue the day we didn’t check bad behavior.
we sat around and allowed hatred to fest.
it’s in the forests and on social media.
we are falling out with people we know due to political opinions.
the rise of hatred for vixens,
gays,
trans,
and black people are alarming.
the powers that b have no filter so everyone has no filter now.
these days feel like we are in a legit war within our territory.
everyone say goodbye to laura ann carelton…

Continue reading “she was killed for being an ally (rip laura ann carelton)” →

you know what’s wild?
i was gonna write an entry about him a few weeks ago.
his ex-manager outed him about ( x his alleged drug use ).
i never got around to it and the twitter thread got deleted.
it seemed like things were good but this news today really broke me…

Continue reading “rest in peace to angus cloud” →