inside jamari fox

on the last day of february,
which i didn’t realize was the last day,
i randomly made the decision that i wanted a reset.
i was seeing a lot of signs about starting over.
i legit had a notification pop up on my phone:

“Begin again“.

um,
isn’t that weird????????
a lot of shit went down on the last day of last month or leading up to it that week…

“You need to start talking to poeple.” Karaoke said to me the other day.

two months go,
she put me under her yearly nintendo switch family plan.
the premium one with the nintendo online bonus.
i was paying 4.99 a month for the regular one without all those features.
if i didn’t mention it to her,
she wouldn’t have known and was willing to help.
ironically,
after last week’s drama,
i remembered what she said and decided to tell her.
i’ve always been the “suffer in silence than ask for help” type.
it has been part of my survival technique for so long.

“I’ll figure it out.”

…but right now,
i don’t have all the answers for this current mayhem…

there are some males that i’m curious what their DMS look like.
i can just imagine it looks like a craigslist in the late 00s.
i said to myself the other day,
i said:

“Self,
I wonder when Kharl is going to bless us with grey underwear?”

grey underwear is the equivalent to grey sweats but for your big bunz.
you can clearly see every and all curves of the print of the cheekage.
you know you tail is big when you can see it in grey sweats.
ask and i shall receive…

What does someone’s album really say to you?

is it just sound or something deeper,
something that speaks to you personally?
i recently got caught up in a challenge with cousin hybrid called “cymatics”.
the idea is to listen to just one artist for 30 days,
tuning your mind and soul into their frequencies.
i picked lady gaga; he’s all in on lenny kravitz.
we’re both diving deep into the vibes and seeing what we find.
so here’s how i’m taking gaga’s new album,
“mayhem“,
into my life…

a little file slid onto my desk from an F-BI:

“Locked up in Miami,
ready to be shipped to Atlanta for aggravated assault charges.”

for all of us in the Foxhole who are familiar with this attentionisto-but- jackal in disguise,
this comes is no surprise…

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i only really understood my mother when she was on her deathbed.
before that,
i was a rebellious teenager.
in her final months,
we finally talked and i apologized for pushing her away.
lately,
my older cousin has been sharing stories about my mother.
i didn’t just inherit her features; i have her rebellious spirit too.
we started talking about my grandmother and i opened up about the abuse she put me through.
i was always afraid to tell anyone but my cousin actually listened.
he said something that stuck with me…