Eee-Yikes.

i love when i see this she-jackal doing the most.
( x see another the most moment from her here )
i remember every single @ i saw being idiots.
everyone was hoping that baby would change chrisean rock.
they hoped and wished when she left blueface,
she would be magically cured of all her troubles.

welp.
she was walking around the entire pandemic without a front tooth.
why would anyone assume otherwise from her?
so i’m gonna font this with my whole chest…

This is the face of someone who will find love again.
He just has to heal from this current hurt.

i was sent in a video that made me sad.
it was from @dougiedougdouglas and his story is pretty brutal.
it’s a story we all have or may experience regardless of looks,
wealth,
or IG clout…

Everything wrong with us started with those who raised us.

oftentimes,
many of us don’t listen to that little voice inside.
we never learned to trust that voice.
in fact,
that was beaten out of us for being “asking too much questions“.
when we were young,
we were blank slates full of curiosity.
many of us knew right from wrong but we were punished for it.

We knew our fathers were cheating when we went to “that lady’s house”
We knew our mothers were doing drugs when she would “take her medicine”
We knew our uncle/aunt was weird when they kept touching us “because we were so handsome”

when we found our voice to say something,
more than likely,
it was shot down and was used against us by the entire family or school.
you know how it goes when we are outnumbered.
i want you to know something…

when i’m going through something heavy,
like i have been for the last weeks and plenty of change,
i’m usually scrolling to find a message.
a message in my time of need when i’m feeling despair.
it could be a church sermon or some random pineapple on IG.
yesterday,
as i was sitting in a bath,
God spoke to me with the message i “be” looking for.
someone else needed to hear this…

When i first met “insert dumb bitch here“,
i loved her personality.
I thought she was absolutely amazing.
We related on the same things and it felt like she embraced me.
She felt like a someone i use to know…
and THAT should have been my first clue.
As we became cool,
I started to notice something that gave me pause.
She would always talk about mutual friends behind their backs.
One of her friends was trying to start a career and she legit dogged them out.
In that same friend’s face tho,
She was all smiles and acting like she was in full support.
People never realize I peep the little “big” things about them.
I wasn’t surprised when i found out she was talking about me with the same people.

character.
oftentimes,
we can get confused with personality rather than character.
anyone can have a amazing personalities out here.
it’s how we introduce ourselves to people to make friends or gain networks.
it can lead to a ton of followers and even stardom but…

control.
oftentimes,
we have a need and a desire to be in control of other people.
that can create a lot of resentment and a breeding ground for toxic situations.
when we are out of control,
that is when the real “us” comes flying out.

Insecure
Panic
Jealousy
Envy
Letting all kinds of disrespect slide
Being nasty and disrespectful to others

on the low,
my mother had showed me how she was self control in relationships.
she had a big learning lesson with her first husband but she learned quick.
when she entered relationships after that,
and it was revealed that many of them were actually jackals in disguises…