I had to wonder:
Have I been reliving the same scene over and over,
just swapping out the cast and locations?

i had a therapy session that felt like an earthquake,
shaking up everything i thought i knew.
it actually began with a good friend last week.
last friday,
i was on the phone with her for over 8 hours.
when the conversation flows,
i go with it.
anyway,
i confessed how i wanted to be colder, less warm.
i’ve always been a warm and kinda-ish bubbly person.
many people are drawn to my warmth but then some have turned cold,
leaving me in a whirlwind of confusion and craving their acceptance.

It felt like a scene from my childhood,
with my parentals as the original cast.

my friend asked me…

I had to wonder:
Have you ever felt like you’re constantly being hunted,
as if some unseen predator is always lurking just beyond the shadows?

in the animal kingdom,
every creature has a predator that hunts them.
they either learn or are gifted the skills to survive.
even the weakest animals have been given speed.
in the human jungle,
especially now,
we’re all being hunted by something in our backgrounds.
each one of us has our own cross to bear and i call it…

I couldn’t help but wonder:
Have you ever noticed how we can romanticize things to drown out the doubts?

when i first met a past wolf-turned-jackal,
but this can be any male i was really into…

when i was younger,
after losing her apartment,
my mother and i had to move into my sister’s aunt’s house with my step father.
Foxhole,
that house was an absolute nightmare.
it was like a horror movie set in slow motion.
her aunts had given up on life and…

Tuesday

i was gearing up to dive into The Foxhole that morning.
some of you sent me some things that peaked my interest.
as i was about to sit down,
a loud banging shook my door.
peeking through the hole,
i saw a swarm of random white men.
that is never good.

“We have an emergency!
We’ll break the door down if no one answers.”

wtf is happening?
when i opened the door…

this past weekend,
i celebrated my birthday.
it wasn’t a grand affair with a huge guest list and party favors.
no one was doing coke in my bathroom.
no big shindigs or dinner plans.
i spent it with someone who is really special…