Have you ever wondered why we all feel this pressure to overachieve at work,
even when we know it’s a trap?

this morning,
pose hit me with a question that stopped me in my tracks:

“Have you learned any other lessons from working in corporate?”

…and,
well,
the truth is…

Is it just me or do we all know a male who seems to be living in a perpetual state of scrutiny?

maybe it’s us right now?
as we navigate the high-stakes forest of corporate life,
or even if we are in entertainment or sports,
the whispers begin the moment we start to climb the ladder.

“Is he married?”
“Does he have kids?”
“I don’t see him talking about anyone special…”

once those whispers gain volume,
especially if we are hiding who we are inside,
we will do anything to lower them.
we duck for cover with “the ugly“,
“the desperate“,
or some black males get with “the white” to keep a low profile.
in all of those spaces,
it’s better optics to have a vixen on your arm around your straight (or white) peers.
even in our families,
among our friends,
at church,
or in the neighborhood,
if you’re a guy without that “basic” life…

It never fails.

i woke up today in a moody mental space.
it’s probably the cancer “i hate everything” in me.
i’ve accepted and owned that.
this morning’s agenda was to run a few errands.
i threw on:

Hoodie
Sweats
Dad Hat
Crocs

i was not really in a “see or be seen” kind of mood.
as i’m outside,
i decided to go to supermarket to pick up a few items.
as soon as i step in there,
i don’t know what holiday today is but…

I couldn’t help but wonder…
Are we all just stuck in a never-ending hamster wheel of sexual stagnation?

sexually stagnant.
it’s something many of us deal with,
whether we admit it or not.
instead of seeing other males as potential friends,
or even partners,
many of us treat them like our next conquest.
many of us could get with someone with this bawdy,
who is perfect for us…

They say the past has a funny way of circling back.

well,
this is the kind of circling back i’m into!
i recently found myself on the receiving end of a very sexy blast from the past,
courtesy of one condoms!
picture this:
a big package,
filled to the brim with condoms and stickers…

Have you ever wondered if you’re really “good enough,”
or is that other black gay males aren’t good enough for you?

i love seeing conversations like ^this.
it reminds me i’m not alone and other black gay males feel the same.
it’s this lingering question of…

“Am I good enough to date or settle down with?”

or…