i want you to stop because you’re making things worse

Is it possible that chasing happiness is making us unhappy?

recently,
i had a revelation that feels like a total game changer.

ready for it?
cue the drum roll…

Continue reading “i want you to stop because you’re making things worse”

f0xmail: I’m Sleeping With A Wolf Turned Jackal! Help!

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,

first let me say that I absolutely love, love, love your site. I feel a lot of us can connect with you on different levels, but I’m in a situation and in desperate need of some advice from you and the other wolves/foxes. So I’ve been in a relationship with my wolf for 5 years, going on six. We have two cubs 12 and 1, both boys. SN:Another story…The relationship has seen more ups and downs than I can count. Numerous countless affairs and a side he jackal, all on his part. The he devil werewolf inside of me wanted to cum out and play and get revenge, well within my rights, but that’s not my style; karma is a BITCH!!!!! Anyway, as the fox in the relationship, I’ve always been giving and loyal. Even to his son from a previous relationship, the 12 yr old. I’ve always been the one to keep a roof over our heads, car, and just barely getting by in general. I’ve always been the bread winner in this relationship. We’ve been in situations where neither one of us were working, and just when we thought things were about to blow up in smoke, a better job comes along. Now he’s not had a stable job since we’ve been together, it’s been all me. Now I’ve been blessed with another job and highly compensated for it. Well recently I bought him a car, BMW. I didn’t pay much for it but it’s for him, he hasn’t had a car in 5 years. My car just broke down and it’s time for another. It just seems like he is jealous because of the money I make, the car I’m about to buy. Anything this man wants he goes out and gets. No questions asked on my part. But he tells me, that it seems like I’m calling all the shots, and it’s not what he wants, but what I want. I asked him since when does he not get what he wants!!! Is that not the most selfish statement someone can say to their lover that’s been holding him and his son down for 5 years???? I’m so angry because I’m feeling like I’m dealing with a 31 year old immature, unappreciative child. I’m 32 myself. I’m just getting to the point where I have the I don’t care attitude, and the unhappy face. And my face is very attractive. Beyond that I’m still deeply in love with him, im just at this point and I don’t want to be at this point. It seems like we have these disputes, and I’m always the one that has to bring him back to reality. I have to call him out on his bullshit, or else he would act like nothing happened, and I’m left feeling like shit. The sad thing is Jamari, he’ll want to have these pillow talks at 3 in the morning talking about ” it just seems like you’re unhappy, you don’t really smile anymore “. Like a sad puppy. I’ve chased this man for almost six years for him to see who and what I am to him. I know he sees it and realizes, but he got a funny way of showing it. Honestly, I’m at the point of OVER IT. how can we change things, I’m tired of talking. Tired of fussing and cussing…. I’m worn down. Can I just get a REAL wolf to appreciate what I do, and knows how to handle his. I’m just like you in the things I want from a wolf. Just be a grown man.

MY ANSWER
Continue reading “f0xmail: I’m Sleeping With A Wolf Turned Jackal! Help!”

“It” Didn’t Happen In One Day

when you look at your life,
are you satisfied?
do you say to yourself,
“could i be doing more?”
do you look at others and wonder why they are so ahead?
what is it that they are doing that you aren’t?
i often wonder what happens to us?
those who feel stuck,
lost,
or completely UN-satisfied.
what will it take for you to be completely happy?
and, are you really working towards that happiness?
have you ever wondered…

Am I where I need to be?