when i was young fox,
going through depression,
i saw this video pop on BET and it gave me instant peace:

“Ain’t No Rain In This Cloud”

i love good songs that are current but composed like past generations.
i begged my mother to buy me her debut album,
“black diamond“,
after i heard her second single:

I LOVED the vibe of “Alright”.

after i got the album,
i proceeded to listen to it every day.
i loved her second album,
“mahogany soul”,
even though that album also brings back not so great memories.
safe to font that even though i stopped keeping up with her,
i have always fucked wit angie stone.
sadly,
today…

I don’t know how I would even feel…

if i walked into my home and saw or someone had to break the news to me…

That the partner that I prayed for…

…was dead because he decided to delete himself.
i’m a very strong and resilient person but i can’t even imagine how that would fuck me up.
i would be left with so many thoughts and questions…

This is not what I wanted when I said I wanted to be present for this new year.
Of course,
I step onto Elon’s social swamp and on day one of 2025,
I’m hit with the grim reminder of just how fragile life is.

it took me back to NOLA in 2020 for mardi gras with one of my best friends.
bourbon street was intense…

Father God,
I come to you asking for your protection over myself and everyone in my life.
Those who stand by me and even those i struggle to get along with.
Clear our paths of any danger,
heal our bodies from any illness,
and remove anyone who isn’t good for us from our lives.
Let any evil intentions directed toward us be stopped in their tracks and returned to their sender tenfold.
Amen.

there is something going around where folks are dropping like flies.
i was absolutely shocked ( x when liam payne lost his life last week ).
don’t even get me started on ( x jay hefner ) and his tragic end.
it has been death after death amongst the rest of the the doom and gloom in the forests.
The Foxhole alerted me we lost a gay black porn star recently…

i was shocked and saddened when i read that mandisa from american idol died today.
i remembered her rooting for her to win.
she had such a warm spirit and was kind even though simon joked about her weight.
even though we don’t know what her cause of death is,
they are saying that she suffered from depression and spoke about her suicidal thoughts.
this is her,
without all the glam and turned “off”:

you can see the sadness within her eyes.
i’m starting to believe that…

you know what’s wild?
i was gonna write an entry about him a few weeks ago.
his ex-manager outed him about ( x his alleged drug use ).
i never got around to it and the twitter thread got deleted.
it seemed like things were good but this news today really broke me…

Continue reading “rest in peace to angus cloud” →