one time when i was a baby fox,
new to america,
my late Mum’s boyfriend at the time invited us over for dinner.
that night,
he decided to impress us by cooking lobster.

I’ll never forget how traumatized I was watching that experience.

the pot was shaking and you could hear,
what sounded like,
the lobster screaming within the hot water.
i didn’t eat that night because i lost my appetite.
my empathy is set up a little differently.
so when i saw this video with crabs in an air fryer…

Continue reading “who knew crabs could be cooked… in an air fryer?” →

i’ve joined the cult with others frying their brains out too.
i’ve accepted my fate and will walk with my head held high.
so 2 weeks ago,
i was craving pizza heavy.
just like when i have the idea to hop on a dating app,
The Universe sends me something that turns me tf off completely.
i saw ( x this ) news story the day i was gonna order.
i did the dorothy face shortly after i read it:

something told me to check out all the restaurant grades in my area.
the violations of “evidence of rats/mice” made my head spin.
after my soul came back to my bawdy,
i decided to order something that i’ve heard folks raving about.
i didn’t know much about it before i did some research,
but i was sold after all the reviews…

Continue reading “I’VE BEEN FRYING MY BRAINS OUT (NO HELP REQUIRED)” →