i usually keep it lowkey but today?
i’m claiming my happiness.
for years,
i felt like an outsider looking in,
surrounded by my straight peers/associates,
always questioning where i stood.
picking up pom poms to cheer many of them on but when it came to me,
i barely got the same energy that i needed.
i won’t lie but it always hurt my feelings because it made me feel used.
i’ve come to learn…

I couldn’t help but wonder…
When did we start believing that real males don’t cry?

as boys,
we’re taught to bottle things up,
to hide those pesky emotions because,
apparently,
vulnerability doesn’t fit the masculine mold.
if being “a real male” means being brave:

What if the most “masculine” thing a man can do is shed a tear?

we’ve all been there,
standing at the edge of our emotions,
afraid to let them flow.
i’m here to font to you…

Have you ever noticed how we dumb ourselves down to make others feel relatable?

yesterday,
i stepped out to run some errands.
there’s this older woman in my building i always bump into.
you know the type:

Pleasant
Chatty
Nosy

i’m always on guard with those types.
those types have always been two-faced.
so when she asked me the classic:

“How are ya doing baby?”

i responded like this and caught myself…

Have you ever found yourself missing the Obamas,
wondering if we were just…
better with them in charge?

last night,
as i watched them speak at the dnc,
it felt like a wave of nostalgia mixed with a cold dose of reality.
the obamas have this way of making you want to level up.
michelle,
especially.
i’m glad that she has shifted her past stance.
she went from “when they go low, we go high” to:

“You come for me and I’ll dropkick you straight to hell.”

i’m here for every bit of it.

after the speeches ended and the tv went dark,
a thought kept circling in my mind.
is it just me…

Have you ever wondered if sometimes the best way to win a war is by simply staying silent?

in the forest of power plays and PR battles,
silence can speak louder than any defense.
just ask justin baldoni,
the actor/director behind “it ends with us,“
who handled his BTS clash with blake lively like a true strategist.

last week,
blake’s past came back to haunt her as she was ( x trying to play the victim )…

I love how ratchet we get and then talk about God.
I love how unhinged we are on here.

so last night,
something so wild happened that i had to share it with The Foxhole.
picture this: i’m sprawled out on my couch,
mid-binge of queen sugar.
i left hanging somewhere in the chaos of the rona.
i figured why not start from the beginning and get lost in that drama again?

Sidebar: something urged me to watch it again.

…but as the first episode rolled on,
my mind wandered back to some therapy revelations from earlier that day.
i was thinking about seeking acceptance and the trauma from my youth.
just when i was deep in my thoughts,
someone i’m cool with hit me up in DMs randomly.
we don’t really talk like that but we respect each other heavy.
he knew Star Fox as well.
so this person went MIA for what felt like forever and randomly hits me up out of the blue last night.
Foxhole…