I had to wonder:
Have I been reliving the same scene over and over,
just swapping out the cast and locations?

i had a therapy session that felt like an earthquake,
shaking up everything i thought i knew.
it actually began with a good friend last week.
last friday,
i was on the phone with her for over 8 hours.
when the conversation flows,
i go with it.
anyway,
i confessed how i wanted to be colder, less warm.
i’ve always been a warm and kinda-ish bubbly person.
many people are drawn to my warmth but then some have turned cold,
leaving me in a whirlwind of confusion and craving their acceptance.

It felt like a scene from my childhood,
with my parentals as the original cast.

my friend asked me…

I had to wonder:
Have you ever felt like you’re constantly being hunted,
as if some unseen predator is always lurking just beyond the shadows?

in the animal kingdom,
every creature has a predator that hunts them.
they either learn or are gifted the skills to survive.
even the weakest animals have been given speed.
in the human jungle,
especially now,
we’re all being hunted by something in our backgrounds.
each one of us has our own cross to bear and i call it…

So I guess he is baffled all of these white characters got re-made?
I only recognize Ariel.
Who are these other characters?????
I’m always confused with his confusion.

tbh,
i don’t want to hear any more complaints about elon musk.
we all played a part in creating what he has become.
he flaunts his racism but we continue to use twitter.
many of us bark like dogs because his app,
unlike the other social media platforms,
lets us upload smut and indulge in our degenerate ways.
we can’t have it both ways but let’s be honest…

I had to wonder:
Is it hard to gain back self respect once we lose it?

I was having a discussion with a Foxholer about a “straight” attentionsisto he knows.
You might know him.
He is straight publicly but actually gay for pay privately.
So 98% of them?
The issue isn’t the gay for pay but how desperate he is for money.
Once he sucked the peen of someone with big money,
he was tested to see how far he was willing to do.
He has been slutted out,
got a deposit in every hole,
those butt cheeks got pounded into oblivion,
and pretty much will allowed himself to be known as “a good little slut”.
He is now being passed around to other with big money and that never ends well.

remember that scene in “coming to america” when he made her bark like a dog?

i would have cursed him TF out and left.
she barked.
there are people in the forests who will bark.
those who bark end up being like the attentionisto in the above story.
losing respect is the kiss of death.
if someone knows you will do anything for success/companionship/friendship,
they’ll exploit you in every which way.
there is no challenge with those who’ll bark.
there is nothing to fight for or be excited about.
my thing is…

I had to wonder:
Have you ever wondered if being treated unfairly and underestimated might actually be a blessing in disguise?

there’s inspiration everywhere if we choose to open our eyes for it.
take nicole beharie,
my straight vixen crush.
remember her on “sleepy hollow“?
when she she was on there,
she was a beloved character but randomly,
she she got let go.
after that,
the rumor mill went wild.

Difficult to work with.
“Crazy”
I even heard she bit someone(?)

i never saw her defend herself and rightfully so.
when you know something isn’t true,
what’s there to say or font?

to john q. public,
it looked like behind-the-scenes racism.
her character was killed off and they replaced her with a white vixen.
the show ended up tanking shortly afterwards.
nicole went rogue after that which is one of my favorite things to do.
she did some indie projects but nothing major.
then,
like a plot twist in one of my favorite shows,
she was cast in season three of “the morning show”.
look at how God works…

I couldn’t help but wonder:
Have you ever noticed how we can romanticize things to drown out the doubts?

when i first met a past wolf-turned-jackal,
but this can be any male i was really into…