ive been feeling depressed.
masturbated.
temporary relief.
i have so much on my mind.
i’m having those nightmares again.
i also had to low key cut some people off.
life has turned very weird for me.
i wish i could afford a spa appointment.
right now that isn’t even in the cards at all.
so i thought to myself:

“why not bring the spa to my crib?”

hmm…

“why don’t you take a hot relaxing bath?”

a wolf i have been speaking to in emails suggested.
i haven’t taken a bath in a while actually.
last time i took a bath,
i was working at my old job and i was stresssssssed de fuck out.
instead of going rogue and planting grenades all throughout the building,
i decided to come home and just soak my worries away.
as my tub filled with warm water,
i poured some:

…inside.
the scent instantly made me relax.
i turned on:

…and immediately sat in the tub.
laying there,
i thought about everything that is going on.
star fox.
job.
money.
life.
love.
i tried to imagine myself at some resort spa.
preferably in some other state.
all i needed was someone serving me:

…and i’d be good.
so good.
i decided to take my:

…and scrub the bottom of my feet.
lord knows i can’t afford a pedicure right now,
so i gotta do the best with what i got.
i sat in that tub,
soaking and thinking,
right until a$ap was done.
i love this track btw:

i got out and put my robe on.
i felt a little better.
a lot more relaxed.
i turned my phone off.
definitely did not want to be disturbed for the rest of the night.
a massage right after would have been perfect tho.
from someone like this waiting to lead me to the bed:

yeah.
ya know who knows?
if he lowered my inhibitions enough…
well then: